Learning to Fall.
Chapter Sixty Five
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
Oishi was kissing Eiji before he had even finished coming. His first coherent thought besides how amazing that was and Eiji is, was that this had been very different from the other times they made love. That had been hot yes, but also very sweet, very romantic. This was intense, raw, and pure passion. More how it had been on the stairs if they had not waited. Oishi did not want Eiji to feel embarrassed or scared and so Oishi held him close and kissed him. Oishi smiled as he tried to stop shaking from the aftershocks. Eiji saw him smiling and smiled back at him but his smile was not as full as normal. Oishi kissed and hugged him, when he could he said, "You have me still shaking, love."
"Good?" Eiji asked after a moment, as if he had to. Oishi saw the worry in his eyes.
"So good, love. Very, very good, but..." Oishi paused as if searching for the word, and was pleased he could talk to Eiji about this, "...different, than the other times."
Eiji nodded wide-eyed, "Hoi. Which was better?"
Oishi smiled, "All of it, because its with you, because I'm with you." Eiji looked confused. "Its like kissing." Oishi explained, "There are different kinds, the hello kiss, the first time kiss, the I love you kiss, the I want you kiss, they're all good, just different."
Eiji processed this, "Hoi? So, there's lots of kinds we haven't done yet?"
"Sure and we have forever to try them all if you want?" Oishi kissed him. He kissed him sweet and loving, wanting Eiji to not worry. Not about this. Not ever.
Eiji smiled after the kiss. "Hmm. I want, but nya, Oishi?" he hesitated, and he then said worried, "I...I want it to be like this always after even if its different kinds."
"Me too. That's exactly what I want too." Oishi agreed and then kissed him. He was still inside him and didn't want to move or he would move out of him. "You're not hurt? It was good?"
"Nya." Eiji said kissing him and confusing Oishi, then he must have seen Oishi looking at him very concerned. He laughed, "Nya hurt, felt very, very good. I really wanted to and it was so good." He made that little purring sound as he remembered what they just did. That sound completely turned Oishi on again.
"I really liked that you wanted to. That you wanted me. You make me feel really good." Oishi heard his voice sounding a little rough with want and remembering. Oishi kissed him and gave a little moan, "You're so tight and so warm inside."
Eiji smiled wickedly and kissed him back. He tightened himself up and made Oishi gasp. "Hmm. Kiss me Oishi, please?" Eiji kissed him before Oishi could answer. He teased his tongue with little tongue flicks and moved himself slightly on Oishi's shaft as he did. Oishi felt himself getting hard again and Eiji smiled as Oishi closed his hand around his erection a little tighter. Eiji leaned himself up while kissing him. Moving them so they were both on their sides now but still with Oishi more on top. Eiji wrapped his legs more around him and started to investigate the ways he could move positioned like this.
Oishi at first thought that maybe this was something Eiji had thought or fantasized about before because he so specifically moved this way. But then he felt Eiji raise his leg on top, putting it under his elbow. He must have decided that was not quite right so then he moved it so his elbow was under the back of his knee. Eiji was just learning, having fun, and seeing what felt good while they moved. It was very adorable and very hot at the same time. Oishi lifted Eiji's leg with his own arm, letting Eiji's arm be free so he could do as he wanted. Eiji smiled as if happy Oishi understood. He started rotating his hip to match their moving together so their motion became a pleasurable little circle. Oishi kissed him, stroked him, gently thrust into him, supported him, and let Eiji keep exploring.
Whenever Eiji was freed of any restrictions, it was like he could not figure out what to do first. He wanted to try everything. He ran his hand down along Oishi. He touched him everywhere. He felt where Oishi was gently thrusting inside himself. Oishi thrust softer into him so Eiji could put his hand wherever he wanted. He felt himself, Oishi's shaft, and he smiled when Oishi moaned softly at his hand cupping Oishi's testicles. He played with them and with Oishi for a moment then stopped and removed his hand. He next tilted his hips up so Oishi was again all the way inside him. He met Oishi's thrusts and kept making that small circle with his hip.
Then he ran his hand down along Oishi's back. He paused at Oishi's entrance and asked, "Hmm...can I?"
Oishi almost laughed but stopped himself. He went to first tell Eiji of course and ask him how could he even ask when they were like this, but then he saw this for some reason was important to Eiji. So instead he said, "Please." Eiji smiled and started to enter him with his thumb. It already had lube on it. Oishi wondered for a moment when Eiji found the lube and how he put it on one handed and then he just dismissed it as another one of Eiji's magical tricks. Eiji worked into him slowly and paused when he hit that spot. He was waiting Oishi guessed so they could come together again and he could do it then. Oishi didn't want him to wait though, he had something in mind and wanted to move them a little. He tried to keep himself from coming and said, "Eiji, please?"
Eiji looked at him surprised as if wondering if Oishi was going to come right then. Oishi kissed him to distract him from worrying and Eiji pressed on his next thrust together. Oishi moaned loudly and almost came at his touch. He just barely was able to wait and hold back. "Can we?" Oishi asked him and then moved them when Eiji nodded, curious. Oishi brought his knees up and lifted Eiji's hips off the bed. Eiji moaned at the change of angle and at Oishi now being a little more aggressive.
But Oishi was only a little more aggressive. He was still very worried about hurting Eiji. Or Eiji pushing himself and doing too much. Oishi thrust again and moaned now himself. Eiji arched his back, he was very close Oishi saw, and then he looked at Oishi. "Wait....?" Eiji said in a gasp. Oishi froze, very afraid he had hurt him. Eiji sat up and pulled himself so he was sitting on his lap, he wrapped his arms and legs around him, and laughed. "Nya, Oishi, feels very good. Hmm...I'm going to come again soon. I just need to kiss you first."
Oishi felt relief and then alarm when Eiji said need instead of want. Oishi kissed him. Eiji kept slowly moving himself up and down in light rocking thrusts as they kissed. Oishi matched him and held him close with one arm while stroking him with his hand. "Need to?" Oishi asked when Eiji still had not explained.
"Hmm. You needed me to so I need to." Oishi was perplexed and worried that Eiji would be mad if he asked him to explain. It was a bit of a guessing game sometimes with Eiji. Eiji must have seen Oishi looking confused. He pulled them both down, Oishi on top him, while still kissing him and moving with him. He laughed and then suddenly stopped laughing on the next thrust and moaned. Eiji met each thrust and Oishi saw he was very close, his being so close brought Oishi even closer. Eiji moaned loud again and then yelled, "Come now...oh...Shuuichirou!"
This, Oishi found, was a very good position along with Eiji's responses and him telling Oishi to come, "Ah...Ei-ji...!"
Oishi kissed him as they both came and they laughed when they were done at trying to talk during. Once the blood was able to clearly flow back to his brain, Oishi figured out some at least of what Eiji wanted to tell him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was worried about hurting you. I trust you. Is that why I needed you to kiss me?"
Eiji smiled and said, "Nya. You needed me to kiss you because I wanted you to stay with me. So," he shyly said, "I kissed you."
Oishi thought about it and said, "I was worried because I thought about you doing too much or getting tired." Eiji's eyes flashed for a moment and his guard came up. "But, I was wrong. Its more like when you eat ice cream than you getting tired after playing a lot of tennis."
For once, Oishi had stumped Eiji in a conversation by jumping too many places too fast. He considered it an honor of sorts and laughed. "Well, I thought that you might hurt yourself because it felt good." Oishi put his hand up to stop any argument Eiji even thought of having and kissed him. "I was wrong. Its more like when you eat ice cream. You really like it, but you eat only enough until you're full. You don't finish the carton when you're alone or eat too much. You don't hurt yourself or get sick. Feeling too tired isn't the same as getting sick or hurt. You know how to fall so it doesn't hurt."
Then Oishi wondered about all the scrapes and bruises Eiji got during a practice. "Or do you? I trust you Eiji. I really do and I was wrong to worry after you promised me. But I need to know if you take it too far so I never worry anymore."
Eiji smiled lightly. "Nya Oishi, you'll always worry. Its how you are and I don't mind you worrying. As long as you don't get lost. I sometimes, might, go too far. I will. I have gotten sick on ice cream. That's how I know not to eat too much. I learned how to fall without getting hurt bad by getting hurt bad. I learn by doing best. But, nya...."
"I'm sorry love, you promised me and I still worried. Right?"
"Hoi." Eiji nodded with a pout. He thought for a moment, "Nya, I'm sorry that I always go too far...."
Oishi kissed him. "Hey, don't be mean to my boyfriend. I love him just how he is. You go a little too far and I worry a little too much. Its how we are. Its all right. I'll try and you'll try. Eiji, I love you. You make me very happy. You make me be a better person with you." Oishi kissed him. "This is all new and we're both learning but it feels good, right? Are you happy?"
"Yes." Oishi was surprised at the yes and not the hoi. He waited for the rest of what Eiji was trying to say. "Nya...if I go too far and if I ever hurt you Oishi, I'm sorry."
"Hurt me? Because it would hurt me if I hurt you?" Eiji looked worried. Like he had the night before when he didn't want to tell Oishi something and was afraid to hurt or worry him. Oishi thought he had solved that by letting him be on top, but maybe it was more than that. Eiji only nodded but was distracted by whatever he was thinking. Oishi just wanted to stop him from worrying. "Its all right, love. We'll just learn together. You won't hurt me because you love me."
"Nya Oishi. Sometimes...I might. I won't mean to but I might...and if I ever do, I'm sorry." Oishi looked at him wondering what he meant. "Nya, we will get into fights sometimes and may even say things to each other that hurt. Or we could say things and hurt each other by accident." Eiji looked upset suddenly. He hugged Oishi hard, "I...I love you, Oishi. You make me really happy and be better too."
Oishi held him back tightly. He wasn't sure what else to do because he had no idea why Eiji was so upset. He also wondered if this was because this weekend was so intense and so emotional. On top of that, they had gotten little sleep. He decided a safer subject might be better. "What were you dreaming when I woke you? Were you fighting a monster or playing tennis?" Eiji looked surprised at him. "No, I didn't read your thoughts in your sleep, I saw your hand and wrist move like this." Oishi showed him.
Eiji smiled and then blushed a little. "H...hoi, tennis. We were playing tennis. Doubles." He saw Oishi look surprised and then interested, "Hoi! And we were beating everyone! At nationals!" Eiji hugged him again and then kissed him softly. "I'm sorry I got upset. Every thing is really good though. I'm happy." He smiled as if to show Oishi. "Hoi and...thanks for letting me look with my hand."
Now he lost him again unless he meant, "Oh while we were...?" Oishi felt stupid saying it especially as he was still inside him. "You were looking with your hand?" Another Eiji-ism.
"Hmm, couldn't see with my eyes. I wanted to see. I liked it."
Eiji was a very visual person and Oishi said before he considered the consequences. "We could get a mirror...."
"Hoi? Really! When? Next time? Later?" He looked so eager and ready to go too.
Oishi laughed and groaned. He was madly in love with a sex monster. Then he considered there were worse ways to go. "If you really want to...." He started and Eiji nodded very enthusiastically. "...then we will, soon, all right?" Eiji kissed him, very excited at the idea. Oishi made sure to remember to never remind Eiji he had a video camera. He didn't even like looking in the mirror at himself after he got dressed, let alone...during that. Although then Oishi thought about them dancing last night. When he would watch Eiji's expressions when he was behind him, and maybe it would be nice if he could see more of Eiji's reactions and watch him from another angle during....
Oishi realized Eiji had gotten quiet again. Oishi saw Eiji was thinking feverishly and he had better catch up with his thoughts before he got left completely behind. "What love?"
"Hoi, Oishi? Nya, I'm sorry, I can't wait when it feels good. When I wanted to and you weren't sure. I couldn't wait. I'm sorry." Eiji cocked his head to the side, "You can wait? Its easy for you to wait because you don't want to hurt me?"
"Its not easy for me to do but, yeah. Its not worth hurting you.
Nothing is. But its not easy for me to. Remember the stairs last night? That was
nearly impossible. I almost agreed and then I would have been upset. And then
before when you wanted me to earlier, I really wanted to right then, but I would
have been upset if you were hurt. I love you, I don't want to hurt you."
Eiji seemed to be considering this. "Nya. The shower was very good and the after even better, so I'm glad you were able to wait on the stairs." He shrugged, "I couldn't have waited and it wouldn't have been as good."
"Its always good with you." Oishi kissed him softly and thought for a moment, "And you did wait. There was a moment on the stairs and even earlier when I almost couldn't wait and both times you didn't ask me again. You knew that right?"
Eiji nodded and shrugged, "Wasn't sure." he said and then he pouted. Oishi kissed his pout away and wondered again what was wrong. Eiji was dancing around it and seemed afraid to talk about it directly.
Maybe it had to do with Oishi being able to wait. "Do you think I don't want you as much as you want me?" Oishi asked in amazement. Eiji said nothing and wouldn't meet his eyes. Oishi saw he was at least close to what was bothering him. "Do you think I don't find you as attractive and as..." Oishi used Eiji's word, "sexy as you find me?"
Eiji shrugged and without meeting Oishi's eyes, again pouting, and put his chin up defiantly. "I know you love me." He said it though in a small voice.
"I do love you, I love you more than anything, but its more than that." Oishi explained so surprised at Eiji's fragile sense of self behind such bravado. "If I just loved you would I want to kiss and make love with you all the time, or would I just be your best friend? I don't want to be just your best friend or just your lover, I want to be your boyfriend and I want you to be my boyfriend. Remember last night at the club? And the cab ride? And even on the stairs? I couldn't wait to touch you, to be with you. I am always touching you and wanting to kiss you. Always. And I've never been like that with anyone else before. Never. Only with you. I only want you. I can't even shower at school if you're anywhere near me because I want you so much. I want you all the time. Remember how upset I got when we left here and how I much I needed to kiss you when we got to your room? I want you, Eiji. Don't you know that?"
Eiji shook his head no, "Nya Oishi, you're handsome and I'm just cute." As if that explained it all then he added. "Fuji says redheads are an acquired taste."
Oishi smiled, "Well then I have definitely acquired a taste for one and only one. No, you're more than just cute. Honestly, you're much more attractive than I am. I do. I hate how I look. That's why I lift weights to look better. I'm ugly. I hate my big nose, I hate how long my face is, I blush all the time, I get shy, I feel stupid, and my hair is terrible. I hate it. You are beautiful. Very handsome. You have a perfectly balanced, natural body. You're all muscles and flexible and agile. You have a beautiful smile, beautiful eyes, I can almost always tell what you're thinking by your eyes, and you have the sexiest lips I have ever seen, and kissed."
Oishi kissed him thinking about it and then continued, "Your face is perfect, very handsome, even with a tiny scar." he added, still not wanting to accept the scar. "When I look at you I can see how handsome you are now but I can also see how gorgeous you will be in five years, in ten, in twenty. You're handsome now and you will look more and more handsome as you get older. And I love your hair. Why do you think I touch it all the time? Its so soft. I love when you go to sleep on me and tuck it under my chin." Oishi smiled as Eiji was looking at him like he was crazy. "Eiji hasn't anyone ever told you how attractive you are?"
Eiji paused a moment. Oishi thought he would be happy to hear what he thought but instead, and to his surprise, Eiji's eyes flashed, annoyed. "Nya Oishi? Hasn't anyone ever told you? You're not ugly Oishi. All those people last night were looking at you, not me. I'm just cute. You're handsome." Eiji shook his head wonderingly. "Your nose is fine, your face is too, you have very nice eyes, all the girls say so. You have nice lips too. Very soft. You have a great body, much stronger than me, better defined too. I like how it feels when you hold me close because you're so strong. I don't need to see how handsome you will look in five years or twenty because you look like that now. You don't get shy all the time, you can stand in front of the whole school and talk without being nervous. You went on lots of dates with girls. Why do you think all these girls like you?"
Oishi was stunned. He wondered how was it that Eiji always comforted him when he was trying to comfort Eiji. "I don't care about all the girls. I just care about what you think. I just want to be with you, Eiji. Just you. I love you."
Eiji looked at him for a long moment, as if trying to memorize him. "Hoi? More than anything?" His mouth started to curve into a smile.
"More than anything." Oishi smiled at him. "What about you? How much?" Immediately Oishi thought it was a wrong thing to do. Eiji loved a lot of people and a lot of people loved him. It was easy for Oishi to see why. It was hideously unfair for Oishi to ask it he thought because Oishi felt he really only had Eiji. Sure, he loved his family, his parents and sister, and they loved him, but not like this. He cared for his friends and loved them, but not like this. Not completely or unconditionally. Oishi did not even want Eiji to consider it or to choose. However much Eiji loved him, the fact that he did love him at all was enough. More than enough.
"Oishi?" Eiji asked to get his attention from his thoughts.
"I'm sorry. That was a stupid question. Forget I asked, please."
"Nya, why? I asked you." Eiji looked confused.
"But I told you I loved you more than anything before, and its not like my family is really close or that...." Eiji put his hand up to Oishi's mouth. "Eiji, no, I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to rank people you love or choose. I never want you to...." Eiji kissed him, although he was annoyed that Oishi would not stop talking.
"Nya, Oishi. I love you more than anything and more than anyone." Eiji looked at him as if waiting for Oishi to protest. "Its true. I love you more than anything and more than anyone. It doesn't mean I don't love my family or my friends it just means that I love you more. I always will. I meant what I swore to you Oishi. Ever. You can always ask me if you want. Its not a bad thing and its nice to hear, isn't it, nya?"
"Yeah." Oishi said and kissed him, feeling shy and awed by him. "It is. Thank you for telling me." Oishi suddenly had an idea that maybe could draw whatever was still bothering Eiji out. "Hey, you know how you didn't like my cologne that time? Is there anything else about me you don't like?"
"Nya Oishi." Eiji immediately answered. Eiji kissed him, and then
cocked his head to the side as if considering something. Then he paused and took
a deep breath, "Hoi. Oishi, I love you, I am very attracted to you, and you
know I want you all the time, but...."
"But..." Oishi said now feeling worried. This was not such a good idea after all.
Eiji bit his bottom lip and put his arms around Oishi as if bracing him for very bad news. "Nya. If I had to say only one thing Oishi, just one thing, and its the only thing and its a little thing that you could easily fix, all right? Well, its just, Oishi? Nya, its just...your hair...it does need some....help...."
On to Chapter 66!!