Learning to Fall.
Chapter Sixty Three ~ Fuji
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
Tezuka stayed with Fuji as they left, though unfortunately, it was not a quick process. Fuji did try to cut short all of the conversations some fans of his music, a few flirty girls and guys, and some of the people who worked there tried to have with him. He kept saying to everyone who asked that we have plans when anyone asked where they were headed next, and Tezuka never corrected him. It felt very right and good to say we.
They finally were able to escape some time later. Fuji was sure Tezuka knew to the minute how long it took and for the first time in a long time, the tensai didn't feel like testing him to see. Tezuka opened the door to the cab, let Fuji slide in, climbed in next to him, and then instructed the driver as to their next destination. The address surprised Fuji, but as he thought about it, it did make sense. He smiled and went to tell Tezuka so.
Tezuka then astonished Fuji by pulling the tensai over and onto his lap. He put his arms further around him, and pressed his warm soft lips to Fuji's. He kissed him hard, searching for Fuji's tongue with his own and making a growl of want when he found it. Tezuka being so forceful took Fuji's breath away and made his head dizzy again, this time in a very good way. Fuji went to pull back to try to regain some sense of control but Tezuka would not let him. He held Fuji tighter and kissed him until he could no longer resist his kiss or his embrace. Fuji hotly kissed Tezuka back, losing himself and his senses against him, and he sighed in pleasure and contentment.
"I missed you." Tezuka explained when finally he let Fuji up for air.
"Ne, Tezuka I was close enough to touch you all evening." Fuji smiled and tried to sound casual. He failed as he was breathing hard and his honeyed voice sounded husky, even to himself.
"Not close enough." Tezuka said with a smile and then kissed Fuji again. Fuji relaxed into the kiss and into him. He smelled his scent, felt the touch of his hands, his lips, and his tongue on him, and Fuji's over-active brain was awash in a surge of hormones, emotions, and lust that drowned out the worries and the nagging sensation he had been feeling.
"Anything wrong?" Tezuka asked and said before Fuji answered, "By the way, it was beautiful. You, are beautiful." He kissed Fuji again and made another small, sexy growl as Fuji now ran his hands up the back of his shirt while he kissed him back. Fuji's wrists were not sprained now and after remembering, he wanted to feel his skin.
Tezuka after a long few moments broke the kiss with a sigh. He then told Fuji what Inui had said, the parts Fuji had missed being busy, and then added that Inui had not gotten all of it. He had missed a few vital things as was Inui's way. Tezuka explained that Inui missed a major point, because it was a point that dealt with emotions. It was not just seeing what Fuji heard or how Fuji saw and heard the world around him. It was more than that. Tezuka said Inui did not realize he could see how Fuji felt. Tezuka was impressed, very impressed, he said, that Fuji could take and share his feelings with an entire crowd of people, and basically bring them along for the ride. That on the small screen in his hands, Inui held Fuji's feelings, his emotions, and was unable to recognize them because he was so out of touch with his own.
Tezuka then described for Fuji a frozen cave he had climbed once and what had happened when the sun hit the ice behind it. What he saw, where he was, how he felt. He described it so visually and lovingly that Fuji ached to photograph it, and then found to his surprise, he didn't need to. Tezuka took him there with him. He told Fuji that if the brilliantly colored snowy wall had a sound, then that was how Fuji's feelings looked and sounded. That was how Fuji and what he played made Tezuka feel. It was one of the most astonishingly beautiful complements Fuji had ever heard, and Fuji told him so.
Tezuka gave Fuji a long look as Fuji marveled at Tezuka getting it exactly right. Understanding him. "Very beautiful...." Tezuka said almost absently after looking at Fuji and kissed the tensai again. His kiss was very passionate, as if he had held it all in all night. Tezuka pulled him closer and put his arms more around him. Fuji felt his breath go completely as he leaned into him, into his embrace, and kissed him back. Fuji tried not to moan out loud as he felt Tezuka hard and strong and warm and so good against him.
Tezuka went to pull back but Fuji now would not let him go, he drew forward and kissed Tezuka hard, wanting him. He bit Tezuka's lip and lost himself in the heat of the kiss, his action, and in the pleased smile Tezuka gave him after he did. Tezuka then did pull away but now regretfully, as if sensing this was not the time or the place to lose themselves, but soon would be. Somehow his hand again was back on Fuji's lower back, tracing circles, and Tezuka held Fuji in his arms. Fuji nuzzled up to him and waited to see what Tezuka did next, but Tezuka seemed content to wait in each other's arms until they arrived.
Fuji then remembered his earlier question, "Wrong?"
"You seem quiet, are you tired?"
Tired? Fuji wondered. If anything he was high from performing and Tezuka. "Ne. Not at all. You?"
"Not at all." Tezuka gave Fuji that smile. It was a slow, easy smile he only gave to Fuji. It made Fuji's pulse race and another real smile cross Fuji's lips.
"Ah." Fuji said happy. He thought of something, "You were very nice to Inu...." Tezuka kissed Fuji, who broke the kiss and looked at him. "Did you think Eij...." Tezuka kissed him again. Fuji stopped the kiss and tried once more, thinking maybe he should not talk about other people except them now, "Tezu...." This time Tezuka did not let Fuji up for air until Fuji surrendered completely, laughing and kissing him back. The kiss turned immediately so passionate that the laughter then disappeared too in the lust.
Fuji thought during the kiss though that Tezuka just told Fuji he seemed quiet. All right. So talking was out. And Fuji liked kissing Tezuka, loved it actually. So why was it that when Fuji was not kissing Tezuka right now, he felt...nervous? Oh, wait, they were still kissing, really going at it right now, and Fuji was still nervous. He kept getting distracted by worries and thoughts.
Until Tezuka caressed his hand over Fuji's erection while at the same time he grazed a finger of his other hand right down over Fuji's entrance. Fuji gave a little moan in his mouth and kissed him back harder. Fuji lost himself then, finally, completely, in his touch and in his kiss. The heat was sudden and everywhere and then Tezuka removed his hands, kissed Fuji one more time, and gently lifted a very dazed, rather confused tensai off of his lap, and away. He smiled when he saw Fuji's expression. "We're here." He explained softly and paid the cab driver.
Blinking several times, somehow by a miracle, Fuji remembered to open the door before he tried to get out of the cab. The tensai considered himself lucky that he got out curbside and not in the middle of the street. Quite a genius move that would have been. Then he realized that Tezuka had set him down on the opposite side of the cab that he started in on purpose so Fuji could exit right. Fuji wondered how Tezuka was able to remember these things and how he remembered to think at times like this because Fuji apparently could not. Fuji was a bit startled out of his thoughts when Tezuka put his warm hand again on his lower back. He lead Fuji to a side gate as the main entrance would be closed. He pressed in the code.
Fuji smiled. Tezuka had no idea how hard it had been for Fuji to get that code in the beginning. In fact, Fuji mused that Tezuka probably didn't know he even had it. Maybe he thought Fuji climbed the wall, picked the lock, or had another way inside. Although, Tezuka never made to cover his hand as he punched the familiar numbers in. So maybe he did know. It would not surprise Fuji either way. He opened the gate and let Fuji pass first. They walked together through the familiar grounds, not saying a word. Tezuka's finger traced small circles still and Fuji struggled not to get lost in the swirls. Fuji thought he would have to give Tezuka back his bag for the key but waited for Tezuka to ask for it.
He didn't. The key was suddenly in his hand and Fuji wondered for a moment if Tezuka picked his pocket, but then felt the weight of the pouch still on his side without moving his hand to check. Tezuka opened the door to the tennis club room and let Fuji in.
He pulled the door shut and locked it behind them. Fuji never saw Tezuka put in the double lock and never in the beginning checked to see if there was one before he started going there early and showering for him. Fuji wondered if maybe a previous Vice Captain put it in for just this reason. Tezuka, Fuji knew now, had the only copy of the key. The club relied on the freshmen to clean the room completely. Fuji was glad, very glad that there was not a deadbolt on the door that locked Fuji in when the senpai attacked him either time. Although it looked like from some older damage, that in the past there had been one or more and that several times over the years the door that had been there had been broken. Now the door and the frame were steel, Fuji had checked, and knew once the door was locked from the inside, no one would bother whomever was locked inside. If rooms could talk, Fuji mused, this one would have a lot of stories to tell.
Fuji watched as Tezuka turned the key in the lock, sealing them in. He never turned on the lights but it was a moonlit night and they could see well enough in the familiar space. Tezuka then turned himself and covered Fuji's mouth with hot kisses. He pressed him up against the wall, making a little moan when Fuji kissed and nipped at his mouth with his teeth. Fuji had this sudden, overwhelming urge to bite and mark Tezuka as his. "Syusuke...." He whispered as Fuji kissed his neck and wondered wickedly where he should bite him first.
Fuji felt the pulse in Tezuka's neck with his wet tongue, it was beating strong and steady, and he wished for a second he was a vampire. He smiled and kissed down him further, removing his shirt, button by button. He nipped with his teeth after undoing each one, then softened the sting of the little bites with his mouth and tongue. His attentions made Tezuka give the most delicious little noises. Fuji got to his pants and undid the top button with another little bite placed after. This one was a little harder and would probably leave a small mark on his soft, tender skin. Tezuka really moaned then as Fuji again bit and then softened the sting with a wet kiss. Fuji stood slowly up, caressing Tezuka's beautiful body as he did, feeling his muscled stomach and chest, his surprisingly sensitive and now hard nipples. He ran his hands over his strong, tennis sculpted shoulders and slid his shirt off him, over his arms, and let it ripple to the floor.
Tezuka took Fuji's face in his hands and kissed him suddenly, disarmingly, soft. He gently parted Fuji's lips with his tongue and softly lapped in his mouth, breathing harder as their tongues touched. He kissed Fuji deeply, but sweetly, and lovingly at the same time. Fuji was not sure how to react to this so he just let Tezuka lead. Fuji understood to an extent that after months, literally, of Fuji being here nearly every morning and teasing him, seducing him, this was as much Tezuka's fantasy as it was Fuji's. Perhaps even more so. Fuji had a feeling that this meant something to Tezuka and he almost stopped to wonder if it meant anything to himself. Fuji was sure it must. Shouldn't it? He found he suddenly felt oddly detached when Tezuka stopped being aggressive with him. Fuji did not like it or that nagging sensation that threatened to return in a hurry.
As if he sensed it too, Tezuka kissed Fuji once more, then took Fuji by the hand and walked across the room with him. He went to his Vice Captain's locker. Only the regulars had lockers and they were small. The Captain and Vice Captain's were larger. Everyone else shared the common space, whatever the regulars did not use in addition to their small locker was fair game. So most people used the same unlocked cubbyholes day after day until the one they used became theirs. If they became regulars, they kept the cubbyhole and moved into their new small locker too. Meaning they moved into the locker of a former regular who lost. Someone who lost their place to you. If someone stole your cubbyhole, by accident or on purpose, it was a monumental issue. It was cause for a war, fistfights could and did break out. Especially as a new crop of eager freshmen arrived yearly, premium space was a closely guarded luxury. Everyone fighting for position and space constantly kept Seigaku strong. Only the strongest had privileges. Privileges they earned and kept by being very good and working hard.
Fuji noticed that the senpais who were bumped by Oishi and Kawamura had not moved out of their lockers yet, but the senpai who attacked him, his locker was empty and open. Fuji then quickly turned his head to look towards the guy's usual cubbyhole space. It was filled with his uniform and all his things. A regular when they were bumped until they won their space back would often put his jacket in the cubbyhole. A sign that they would be fighting and returning to regular status soon. But it was common to leave only your jacket in the space to let everyone know you intended on returning. Not everything. Not your entire uniform.
His entire uniform was there. Everything. Including his rackets. Fuji turned to Tezuka.
"He left." Tezuka explained. "I wasn't sure when to tell you. I didn't want you to worry. I forgot about here. I would have told you before Monday though."
Worry? Why would Fuji worry? "He left?" Fuji asked lamely not understanding.
"Seigaku. He withdrew from school. He is finishing out the year at Saint Rudolph's, but...." Tezuka held up his hand and continued before Fuji could say a word about Yuuta, "....its over. He will not go near your brother. He didn't even know you had a brother or that he went there. I made him promise and he understands what will happen if he even talks to Yuuta. He isn't even going to play tennis again. I promise you, Yuuta is safe. I made certain."
No, he could hurt Yuuta. He could. He might. Tezuka couldn't protect him like Fuji could. Or usually could. Or always tried to. Or had always wanted to. Tezuka didn't understand. He just couldn't understand. Fuji was going to have to do something. What could he possibly do....
"Fuji!" Tezuka commanded to snap Fuji out of his panicked thoughts. "I promise you he is safe. He is being looked after. I have a very good friend watching out for your brother. Their current captain is watching him. He always has been." Tezuka held Fuji as he explained this like an adult would to a small scared child, "He is finishing out the year there and then if he stays, he will be over at their senior campus next year. They will never even meet. He will not bother you, ever again, or your brother, ever."
"Why? Why didn't you tell me? How long has he been watching him?"
"Since Yuuta left Seigaku. I asked him for a favor. He is glad to help. I've known him since I first played tennis. He says your brother is very good, Syusuke. Yuuta is doing well and he is safe." Tezuka looked at Fuji, as if just realizing that was not the whys Fuji meant, "Because Yuuta's important to you. Because he's your brother. Because you love him."
"Nothing will happen to Yuuta? Nothing? You're sure?" Yes, Fuji had heard him but he needed to make sure. The tensai's voice came out in an afraid little whisper. If anything happened to Yuuta now, while he searched for an escape and his independence, it would devastate him. And again, it would be all Fuji's fault. Fuji always hurt the people he loved. He always destroyed them. He just wished he knew why.
"Nothing. I promise. I'm sure. Yuuta, will never even know he is there. He will never know the guy played tennis, went to Seigaku, and he will never meet him. He will never know anything that happened unless you decide that you want to tell him."
"No! No, I don't want him to know! I never want him to know...!"
"Then he won't know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but there didn't seem to be a time. I thought this was why you called me on Friday night. I thought you found out somehow and were worried. And then Oishi and Kikumaru...." Tezuka explained with a gesture. Fuji understood and remembered the beautiful weekend. There had really been no good time for bad news. "No one knows. Only their captain, you, and me. Our coach helped arrange it all. I'll even introduce you to my friend, their captain, if you want to talk to him too. The guy who hurt you will live at home, not on campus. Monday, he will just be gone, withdrawn from school, with no reason ever given. The next week he will start at Saint Rudolph's. People will figure here its because he lost at tennis, and there he will tell them his family moved. He is also getting help by the way as well."
"Thank you." Fuji started and it dawned on him what Tezuka said, about watching out for Fuji's brother, even before they had been together or done anything except kiss right before he left. Almost all along Tezuka had watched out for Yuuta, without Fuji ever asking him to, or knowing. Fuji heard what he had said but wondered why he had done it. Because he was being a good Vice Captain? Because Fuji was one of Seigaku's better players? Because of the showers? Because of the kissing? That didn't feel right. How long had Tezuka had any feelings for him? Why?
"Ah. I am in your debt then...." Fuji said. He heard his own voice sounding distant, formal, and cold. He felt that nagging sensation again. A slight pounding in his temples as the worries threatened to overtake him. It threatened to become a headache.
Tezuka took Fuji roughly in his arms and he looked at Fuji as if the tensai had said something strange or looked ill. "Syusuke? Fuji? Fuji!" The tensai shook his head to clear it and the nagging went a little further away.
Tezuka held him close. "Syusuke, I love you. There is no...debt. You would have done the same for me." Tezuka explained. Fuji considered this and realized Tezuka was right. He would have, if Tezuka had a brother. Fuji would have. Before he even knew him. Just from seeing Tezuka play that one time. He relaxed into Tezuka's arms and kissed him back. It was Tezuka. Fuji was safe. It was all right. Yuuta would be all right. If Tezuka said it would be alright, Fuji could believe him. Tezuka looked concerned still, "Are you tired? Do you want to go home and do this another time?"
"Ne," Fuji said smiling now. As long as Tezuka kept kissing him like this, the nagging feeling went away, and Fuji felt good. "I believe you were just about to show me something in your locker, Vice Captain?" Fuji suggested and then kissed him again.
When the kiss ended, Tezuka took several shower products out of his locker and tossed them down with a few towels. Fuji looked surprised as he saw they were all what Fuji used every morning. Every day. The exact same ones. Tezuka explained, "I told you that even just your smell drives me crazy. I thought if I exposed myself to as much of it as possible, it might...stop."
Fuji was amused and Tezuka looked a little sheepish again. "Ah. Like an allergy shot. How did that work?"
Tezuka scowled. "Not at all. They just made me want you more because it was your smell that was missing. The smell of you." Fuji laughed and Tezuka smiled at himself. He added, "Although, I do like your shampoo."
"So do I." Fuji laughed a little more, very pleased, and started to relax again. Fuji removed his coat. Then his shirt with one pull over his head. He unbuttoned his pants and pulled off his soft low boots with his feet, not bending over or breaking eye contact, watching Tezuka watch him.
Then Fuji said as he had so many mornings, "Mn. Watch me or join me?"
"I'll join you." Tezuka said and smiled wryly. Fuji for so long has wanted to hear him say this, but then suddenly wondered, irrationally, almost in a panic, how long Tezuka means it for.
Fuji puts the thoughts out of his head and says his next line that he says every morning but as if Tezuka again did not give the right answer this time. "Ah. From there, dressed?"
"No." Tezuka says smiling more and removes his shoes with his feet as well. Then Tezuka unbuttons the rest of his buttons on his jeans with one swift motion and slides his pants off. He is completely hard, it brushes against his stomach, and Fuji can see the small bruise on his otherwise perfect skin where Fuji bit him earlier. Him naked with Fuji's small mark makes Fuji's pulse race harder again. The nagging sensation dissipates completely and Fuji slides off his pants while Tezuka watches. Fuji drops them to the floor and goes to walk into the shower, thrilled. "Syusuke?" Tezuka asks, sounding amused.
Fuji turned to see what Tezuka could possibly want at a time like this, and remembered, "Ah, yes, your bag." The tensai walked back, smiled at how he simply could not think properly around Tezuka, fished it out of his jacket pocket, walked over, and handed it to Tezuka.
When Fuji went to him, Tezuka met his mouth in a kiss as he took the heavy small bag from him. Their erections pressed up against each other and Fuji cannot resist dragging his hand down Tezuka's stomach to touch the bite mark he made. He finds it with his fingertips, a little raised, and Tezuka utters a growl as he feels Fuji's touch there. "You bit me." He sounds pleased and surprised though.
"Do you mind?" Fuji asked and then worried slightly. He had never done anything quite like that before. A hickey of course, they were silly, fun, but a bite mark, no, although he has thought about it quite often. He often does think about it when he fantasized about Tezuka. "Too hard? I just really, really wanted to. I...oh...."
Tezuka kissed him, shutting up any apology Fuji was about to stumblingly make. "I don't mind. You haven't done this before?" Fuji is not sure what he means, if he is asking Fuji if this, all of this Fuji has done before, if Fuji has ever been teased like how Tezuka did, or if he is wondering if Fuji ever bit someone before. Fuji considers everything in an instant and just shakes his head slowly no. Its true and it seems easier somehow. Fuji then kissed him again. It also stopped Fuji from slipping into his thoughts and worries.
Tezuka gave Fuji a long look. He was smiling and then asked very seriously, "Syusuke, is this what you want?"
Fuji is very confused again. He has that feeling that he suddenly is missing the script or rule book again that everyone else has. For once, and only because its Tezuka, the tensai admits not knowing something that seems universally understood by everyone else and important. "I...I'm not sure what you mean, I'm sorry...."
"Am I what you want?" Tezuka asked and waited, again, for Fuji to respond.
Fuji wondered for a moment, Tezuka is...hesitating? Or feeling insecure? It doesn't feel right and Fuji is still not sure what he is asking. But Fuji feels odd saying he is not sure again so he just thinks about the answer to the obvious question. Is Tezuka what Fuji wants? Fuji has wanted him for so long that the answer seems obvious, although the tensai's heart is pounding now for some reason. Tezuka knows how Fuji feels about him doesn't he? Fuji told him. He told him everything. So why is he asking questions? And why are the questions making Fuji again feel nervous? Why was Tezuka hesitating when Fuji wants him, needs him, to not hesitate after a beautiful day and an entire night of teasing and touching him? "Yes."
Tezuka looked at Fuji for a long moment and Fuji thought for an instant that Tezuka was going to either change his mind or ask Fuji more questions. Suddenly, blessedly, he didn't. He kissed Fuji instead. Not slow this time. Hard, hot, needy, aggressive, and just as Fuji had wanted him to earlier, taking Fuji's breath and making Fuji's brain stop overworking. Tezuka slid his hands along Fuji's body and he pulled him harder to him, closer to him. Fuji moaned softly in his mouth, anticipating what was to come, as he felt their skin everywhere press tightly together.
Tezuka removed his glasses, looking somehow disarmingly naked only now. Fuji realized at some point today or tonight, the gentle Tezuka that he has come to love, the one he thought he only saw without his glasses, and the other one from earlier, has become just one guy and the guy has somehow become just Kunimitsu to him. He marvels at it for a moment. At how small a thing it is and yet, how huge. Before his thoughts carry him away again, Tezuka picked up the rest of the things, and easily held them bundled under one arm. He placed his other hand on Fuji's lower back where it had been all night and walked them into the shower without another word. Tezuka dropped their things on the small bench near where he sat or stood to watch Fuji shower. He lead Fuji right to the shower the tensai always used and turned the water on. He turned it away from them while the water heated up. He stood looking at Fuji, watching him, almost as if he was waiting for him.
Fuji smiled. He had no idea what Tezuka was waiting for but the hours of being played with but not playing, being touched but not touching, the time spent kissing, being teased and unsatisfied, have really gotten to the tensai. Fuji smiles and considers that if Tezuka thinks Fuji can just sit passively by now he has another thing coming. "Kunimitsu?" Fuji asked, saying his name softly, slowly, enjoying the feel of it on his lips and tongue and enjoying the reaction it causes in Tezuka. Fuji presses himself against him and draws him into a kiss.
Fuji remembers and notices as he presses their lips together before adding his tongue that recalling how Fuji had to stretch up to him when they first kissed, Fuji is a little taller now. He has not noticed getting taller but suddenly he finds that he is. And that this is a good height, a perfect height, to kiss him. He presses his lips to him a little more and licks into Tezuka's mouth, exploring it. He feels the roof of his mouth and the gap at the back of his teeth. He touches his tongue, laps into his mouth, and nibbles with his teeth, making Tezuka breathe a little harder in pleasure. At his reaction, Fuji finished what he wanted to say. He says it soft and low, "I want to bite you, to mark you more. Will you show me how you like it? How you want me to?"
Tezuka kisses him back even hotter now. The words and the thoughts turning him on more. He smiles looking very sexy and very pleased, "Yes, but not now." Fuji must have looked surprised, so Tezuka explained, "There's a few other things I'd like to get to first."
He then smiles looking wicked and Fuji then smiles with him. "Ah. What do you have in mind?"
"A few things you like first...." Tezuka smiles against his mouth as he kisses Fuji more. His hands caress Fuji's body and then he gently turns and pushes Fuji, against the wall, facing it. He starts kissing Fuji down along his spine, from the back of his neck down, in slow, hot, wet kisses. Tezuka has always done this. Even when he was rough and things were passionate but not loving he did this. Fuji thinks to himself that this is something that Tezuka enjoys, not Fuji.
And Fuji realizes he is very wrong. He has come to love this, to want this, to crave Tezuka doing this with an ache. Even though Tezuka only last did this early this morning, Fuji responds like he hasn't done it in years. Fuji finds himself moaning. He does like this. He likes it a lot. Somehow, Tezuka knew this when even Fuji didn't. Its the oddest thing to find he suddenly adores this, but Fuji does. Fuji tries to rationalize it. Its not like this touches any real erogenous zones until Tezuka kisses him all the way down and licks his tongue along his entrance, which Fuji really enjoys too, but its almost because its not on any specific erogenous zones that his wet lips and tongue drifting, slowly, perfectly down, make all of Fuji's spine into an erogenous zone. Not to mention how much Tezuka seems to enjoy kissing Fuji down his strong muscular back and sliding his hands along Fuji's skin as he does so. Suddenly though, about half way down, when Fuji has stopped thinking and is really lost to the sensations and Tezuka's touch, he stops.
Fuji turns back, surprised, to look at him. Fuji is still up against the wall and Tezuka is walking away, across the floor to his things. Fuji thinks maybe he will get the lube and take Fuji maybe from behind, like he used to, maybe this is his fantasy. It would be all right but a little disappointing. A little unimaginative. Fuji expected a little more. Then the tensai thinks. It would not be all right. Not now. Fuji really wants more than that, it would be an incredible let down after all this build up. Tezuka walks back over to him, but he is holding only the shampoo and soap Fuji uses. "I like washing you." He explains to a confused and now worried Fuji. Fuji cannot figure out why he did this...unless?
Fuji then was extremely worried. He was nervous before but didn't think that he, oh...no...he is mortified...this was new...this had never happened before...well, he has to ask, "Do I...smell?" Fuji is relieved that he said it almost perfectly, despite being totally embarrassed. He is smiling as if amused and he says it the same way while he furiously wonders, is that why he wants to wash me? Right now? Even after all the time playing tennis together? Running? Playing in matches? Surely Fuji sweat then. Everyone did. Tezuka never complained once before. Not ever.
Tezuka looked at Fuji like he was daft and the he looked a little sheepish again, like he was the one embarrassed. "No. You just smell like...you, but I smell like that place. I can smell it on me. My hair and my hands smell of that place." He made a small face of disgust. "But I'd like to wash you before I wash me."
Fuji is a little relieved. Then he wondered if it was bad memories of that place coming back to haunt Tezuka and just how hard it must have been for Tezuka to go there tonight. The tensai decides to probe with a simple question, "When did you go there last?"
"Before you came to Seigaku. A few weeks before the school year started." He moved the spray of the water, adjusted the temperature, and moved Fuji into it, kissing him and touching him everywhere. As if to reassure Fuji and that Tezuka wanted to do this. Fuji relaxed and let him wash him. Tezuka always seemed to really enjoy this and his hands all over Fuji always feel so good. "I only started going there the summer after freshman year. I was invited to nationals training camp. You were probably too, but you didn't go."
Fuji was surprised. The tensai was invited, he was just not in any shape to go. He had a goal, Seigaku and Tezuka and after what happened the last time at a tennis camp, the last thing Fuji needed was another one. "Mn. I'm not too fond of tennis camp as you can imagine, and didn't think it would be a good idea." He wondered if Tezuka had considered this also as he had heard some of the rumors surrounding Fuji, and knew the truth now.
"I wish you had gone." Tezuka said this with such longing, with such an ache in his voice, that Fuji turned to him. "I had a feeling that you had been invited, there wouldn't have been many freshman, there weren't, so they housed us all together. I really wanted to meet you. To play you. Several other people said the same thing."
"They wanted me to go?" Fuji was surprised.
"Yes. Especially after those rumors freshman year. People said you were injured or could no longer play."
"Ah. And then I transferred over here. What did you think?"
"I knew before you came. The coach told the Captain and me. I couldn't wait."
"But what about the rumors? What if I couldn't play?"
Tezuka shrugged and started washing Fuji's hair. He stood behind Fuji and ran Fuji's soft hair though his strong soapy fingers, lightly massaging. Fuji shut his eyes and leaned back against him in pleasure. Tezuka said softly, "You played the end of your freshman year. You beat everyone you faced. I didn't know what happened exactly, but I knew you could play. I knew you would. I couldn't wait." Tezuka handed Fuji the soap to wash his face. He knew by now that Fuji always, for some reason, rinsed his face and his hair at the same time. It was just a habit and it was nice of him to remember. Fuji rinsed his face and hair under the spray cutting out all other sounds but not his thoughts.
When Fuji stepped back from the water, Tezuka placed a towel in his hands to wipe his eyes with. "Thank you. I'm surprised though. You didn't talk to me at all during school. Not until tennis club and then it was just as Vice Captain." Fuji remembered the practice. His first. It was a Thursday when Fuji first arrived at Seigaku. Yuuta insisted on starting the week by himself on Monday. Eiji had been with Fuji the entire time and it seemed just a normal practice. Fuji had not played Tezuka until the next week in rankings matches. Although Fuji had wanted to both talk to him and play him sooner, the tensai had been too nervous. So he watched him instead. Eiji had been a nice and fun diversion for his nerves.
"You didn't talk to me either." Oh, that was right. Fuji told him he went to Seigaku for him. "Plus you were always busy. You were new and people knew who you were. Kikumaru was busy showing you around so you didn't need me. But, until you came, rankings were always held the first week of every month without fail."
Now Fuji looked shocked at him. Fuji arrived the first week of the month. He played and won his regulars spot the next week. "You." Fuji said it as a statement and not as a question.
"I helped. This year, the regulars and a few others went to survival mountain a little earlier. A few days before you arrived. Rankings were pushed back." Tezuka smiled and dipped his own soapy head back into the spray. Fuji handed him the towel for his eyes when he emerged. "Some traditions were made to be broken and they had a convenient opening." He then soaped Fuji down a little more and then himself while Fuji rinsed." At the camp, over the summer, a lot of us got close. That's when we started going to that place. I wish you had gone." He said it again, this time more matter of fact, but again as if it had been something even then Tezuka had wished for fiercely.
"So why did you stop going?" Fuji ventured.
Tezuka, for the first time that Fuji knew of, looked him straight in the eye and flat out lied to him, "It got old. I couldn't train for this year and stay out until all hours of the morning." He took Fuji in his arms and kissed him.
It hurt. "Ah."
On to Chapter 64!!