Learning to Fall.
Chapter Thirty Seven ~ Fuji
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
Fuji had just finished washing his face when he heard voices downstairs. He guessed Oishi was there, and waited a moment or two to give his friends a few moments to kiss hello. But then Fuji heard Eiji saying some things loud and clear that made the tensai open the door and look down to see what was going on.
"NO! Stop it Oishi! Just STOP!" Eiji was yelling, "You told me if you ever did anything to hurt me I should tell you to stop! So stop!"
"Eiji, I'm so sorry. I really never meant to hurt you. Its just, this, isn't right. We both know it. We're both guys, we're both boys. We should be with girls. I'm sorry, Eiji. I just, I just can't do this anymore."
"No! You're lying Oishi! I always know when you're lying." Eiji said it quietly, accusingly. Fuji felt his own heart racing wondering what in the hell could have happened. "You love me Oishi. I know you do! Why are you doing this! Why?" His voice quivered and nearly cracked on the last word.
Eiji took a step forward like he would go to or touch Oishi. Oishi backed away from him. Fuji saw Eiji's hands go to fists at his sides. Eiji was trembling, shaking, Fuji could see it from the top of the stairs and could barely resist running to take Eiji into his arms. He had no idea how Oishi couldn't.
Fuji's heart broke for his friend as he saw Oishi cross the room as if to get away from Eiji. Oishi leaned sitting on the back sofa and said in a quiet voice, "Eiji, I'm sorry. We should never have done the things we did. They were wrong. I don't love you, Eiji. I don't."
Eiji did not move or respond. He just looked at him as Oishi continued, "Eiji, I'm sorry, but there's someone else I'm interested in. There's someone else I have feelings for. I'm sorry Eiji, I really am sorry." Oishi said it flat and cold and serious.
Fuji realized that he was holding his hands to his mouth in horror.
Eiji just stood there. Fuji expected him to yell, scream, run away, or even hit Oishi, but he didn't. He didn't cry. He didn't scream. He didn't run. He just turned away after looking at Oishi for a long moment. Eiji turned away and walked out the door, into the night.
Fuji finally found his voice as the door shut behind Eiji. The tensai felt like he was watching what had once happened to himself now happening to his dear friend. He was enraged. Fuji ran down the stairs yelling "Oishi! What did you do! Oishi! Why? What the hell have you done! Oishi! Why?"
Oishi was leaning down on the sofa sitting sideways and Fuji saw him shaking. It looked like he was laughing and hiding his face. Fuji could not believe anyone could ever be that cruel and Fuji in that instant hated him. How dare he! Fuji wanted him to pay. He wanted to hit Oishi, he wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt Eiji but first he was going to make Oishi face him.
Fuji grabbed Oishi by his shoulders and tried to pull him up but he held fast in the slumped over shaking position.
"Oishi!" Fuji said it in an angry snarl. "What have you done?"
And then, finally, Oishi made a sound, it was the worst sound Fuji had ever heard. He wasn't laughing, he was sobbing, and trying to cover his face with his hands. When Fuji finally wrenched Oishi up to face him he found he could not pull Oishi's hands from his face. Fuji was lost and went from hating Oishi and wanting to hurt him to not understanding and wanting to comfort him. He pulled Oishi to him and let him cry.
The tensai thought that at least when Oishi stopped, Fuji could get some answers. Oishi was back to crying so hard that no sound came out of him. When Fuji hugged him Oishi cried even harder. Oishi tried to turn away from Fuji again but Fuji would not let him go. Oishi tried to stand up to get away but his knees wouldn't hold him. He fell to the floor pulling Fuji down with him when Fuji would still not let go. Oishi was still covering his face, sobbing silently, and Fuji realized now he was not breathing. He had not taken a breath in some time and was making no efforts to breathe.
Fuji pried Oishi's hands from his face and slapped him. Oishi finally gasped for air and sobbed in huge wracking sobs again covering his face with his hands. They were laying on the floor with Oishi crying and Fuji just trying to somehow comfort him so he could figure out what the hell just happened.
"Why Oishi?" Fuji asked, "Why!"
Oishi curled into himself even tighter around Fuji on the floor and cried. He was sobbing so hard he couldn't even speak. He couldn't even breathe again and what was worse, is Oishi didn't even seem to care if he drew breath. Fuji knew he had to calm Oishi down or he was going to pass out. If you could die, if you could kill yourself from breaking someone's heart, Oishi was trying.
Fuji took a breath for them both and used his well trained voice to try to sedate his friend, "Ne, Oishi, you have to calm down. Calm down and talk to me Oishi. Breathe Oishi. Its all right. Just talk to me. Tell me what happened."
Oishi was not helping and Fuji's mind raced as he struggled to put the pieces together. From the time Eiji showed Fuji Oishi texting him back that he loved him until now what could have happened? What?
Certainly Oishi lied when he said he was in love with someone else. Fuji could see that even from how far away he was. Oishi looked the entire time like what he was saying and doing were the last things in the world he truly felt. He even sadly said the same words Eiji had taught him to say. But why? Oishi never lied. He was terrible at it. He also would never hurt Eiji. So why did he?
And Eiji knew he was lying. The entire time he knew.
Oh god Fuji just remembered poor Eiji was somewhere alone outside and was upset, in a state like Oishi or worse. Merde!
What the hell could have happened? And why? Why would Oishi do such a thing?
Oishi was whispering words in between sobs and Fuji put his ear to him to hear. "...had to let him go because I really love him...he should be happy...he's their only son...can't let him get hurt..."
And Fuji knew what had happened.
Oishi never lied. He was terrible at it. And he would never hurt Eiji. There was only one thing in the world that would make Oishi lie and hurt Eiji. And that is if someone twisted Oishi up in all the right places to make him believe that lying and hurting Eiji, that letting Eiji go was for Eiji's own good. For Eiji's happiness.
Oishi would even do it if it shattered his own heart. He would do it even if it meant tearing himself apart. Oishi would sacrifice himself for Eiji without a second thought if he thought it was for Eiji's well being.
That stupid bastard.
Fuji mused Eiji might survive this but Oishi never would. No way. He would never get over this or be over Eiji. He would blame himself for any tears Eiji ever cried. The only way Fuji would be able to salvage anything of Oishi is if Fuji, right now, took Oishi up to his bedroom and had his way with him. Oishi would then think that he did it for both their good and that he was supposed to be with Fuji. Oishi would cling to Fuji for a while but eventually hate Fuji for being a substitute when who he really wanted and loved was Eiji. But Oishi would survive even if Fuji lost both his friends.
Fuji would do it in a heartbeat if he thought it would help them. The tensai never even considered how much Oishi's eventual rejection would cost himself. It didn't matter. Fuji was a lot like Oishi in some ways when it came to friendship and loyalty even if his methods were unique.
But, no, there has to be another way. Fuji wished Eiji was here to give the hypothetical to, but he was out there somewhere lost, heartbroken, and alone.
First Fuji realized he had to see how much damage Tezuka did to Oishi. He would have to make Oishi calm down and talk to him.
There was one certain thing Tezuka did not take into account when he went to "save" his friend by messing with Oishi's mind. Even as Tezuka had worked to warp Oishi's love into pushing Eiji away, in this, in things of the mind, Fuji was better than Tezuka.
Fuji was sure that Tezuka thought he was doing his friend a kindness. He thought he honestly was helping Oishi, but Tezuka was wrong, completely wrong.
Fuji had to make this right. He had to help. His friend's situation was not like Fuji's from back then. His friends both loved each other and were capable of being together and happy. Fuji loved his friends and wanted them to be together. They were happy. They loved each other. This was not right.
Ah. That was another thing Tezuka didn't take into account. Eiji was not stupid. He really knew and really loved Oishi. If Fuji could figure this out then Eiji, when he calmed down, would be able to also. Fuji at first thought that Eiji would never forgive Oishi. Never. Not in a million years, but the tensai realized that if he bet on that, he would lose. Eiji would forgive Oishi because he loved him. He would realize Oishi stupidly did this out of love, even hurting himself for love.
And that was the third thing Tezuka knew nothing about Fuji realized. Love. He knew nothing about love. Fuji had learned more about it watching these two than Tezuka ever knew. Tezuka did not know how to love. He saw problems instead of potentials. All this time Fuji realized that Tezuka was waiting for him, it was that Tezuka also had no idea how to proceed so he never moved. He was trying to figure it out just like the tensai was.
It was like another corner piece to the puzzle clicked into place. Fuji put it aside to deal with his friends first.
"Oishi? Let me guess. Tezuka told you how wrong it would be for you to be with Eiji. That your father would never accept it. It would tear your family apart. That if you cared about your family at all, you would let him go."
Oishi was calmer somewhat now, listening. "Ne, he probably also said that if you really loved and had feelings for Eiji you would let him go. That Eiji deserved to be happy and he could never be happy with you. Because you could never be with him because of your father. And he also reminded you that Eiji was his family's only son. You would be tearing apart his family also. He would have no son to bear their name if he was with you just as you wouldn't. He told you that if this went on much longer, you would scar Eiji for life. He said that you were being selfish. You would make it impossible for Eiji to be with women and he would be unhappy. That a little pain now was better than more pain later when you couldn't be with him. Am I right?"
Oishi finally spoke in nearly a whisper, "Fuji, he can't go through what I will. I don't want his family to hate him like mine will hate me." Oishi paused and said in a broken little voice, "I would be fine if my family, if my father, hates me as long as I had Eiji. But Eiji needs his family, he loves them, he is very close to them, and I can't let him lose that. I can't ask him to choose. I won't. He'll be happy this way...he's better off without me..." Oishi started to cry again.
Fuji decided, there was only one other way and no choice.
"Oishi, Eiji is in danger. Right now." Oishi quieted right down.
"Yes, Oishi, you put Eiji in danger. You lied to him Oishi, you broke his heart, and now Eiji's out there, at night, upset, and all alone. He's in danger."
"Fuji, I had to..."
"Ne, Oishi, you're wrong. Tezuka is wrong. Eiji would never have to choose. And if he did, he's already chosen." Oishi looked at Fuji like he was crazy. "Oishi, Eiji's family knows. They know about the two of you and they're fine with it. They love him and they just want him to be happy. And he is happy. Eiji is happy with you. He loves you and you love him." Oishi looked shocked. "They know Oishi. They're fine with it. They like you. Eiji probably hasn't told you Oishi because it never occurred to him to say it. He still cannot understand your family much like you can't understand his. He will never have to choose."
Oishi was shocked and silent, most likely Fuji thought he was wondering what he had done. At least Fuji reckoned it was better than the sobbing. "Oishi," Fuji said gently "there is no one else right? You did this because you love Eiji more than anything. You love him enough to let him go even if it kills you because you want him to be happy." Oishi nodded miserable. "Oishi? You just broke his heart and now he is somewhere out there, at night, all alone, wanting only you."
Oishi put his hands to his face and cried a little more. Fuji hugged Oishi and heard Oishi whisper something softly that sounded like, "What have I done?"
"Ne, Oishi its going to be all right. You told me something no one else really knows today to help me. Now, I am going to tell you something that no one else knows which might help you."
Fuji braced himself, "Oishi? Tezuka spent all last night making love to me in my bed while the two of you were in the other room." Oishi's head shot up looking to see if Fuji was telling the truth. "I swear it Oishi. I swear it on you telling me your secret today. This morning when I woke up Tezuka was gone, but he spent the night with me. He and I have been lovers off and on since I came to Seigaku. The stuff he put in your head Oishi, its not really about you and Eiji at all. Its about him and I." As Fuji said it he realized it was true. That was the other problem with Tezuka. It wasn't all Fuji. It was Tezuka's issues now haunting Eiji and Oishi because Fuji didn't have the courage to set Tezuka straight or say no to bad treatment months ago.
"Oh god Fuji what do I do, what have I done?" Oishi was going to lose it again, Fuji saw.
"Oishi, what do you want to do?"
"I hurt him so much...he...he'll never talk to me again, oh god..."
"Oishi, he loves you, if I know you were lying, Eiji knows. He talked to you again after I kissed you naked. He loves you. Do you want to be with him? Really be with him?" Fuji was starting to stand Oishi up. He was shaking as if cold.
"No matter what? Even if your father were to find out? You wont pull this ever again?"
"Never, I swear it but Eiji will never..."
"Oishi stop it!" Fuji raised his well trained voice so it cracked like a slap across Oishi. "You can stay here and tell me a million reasons why Eiji will never want to be with you again or you can go find him and find out if he does. You already know what he wants Oishi. You already know. You can make this right if you choose to. If you really love him. Now as your friend and as Eiji's friend, I am giving you one chance Oishi. Go find your boyfriend. Oishi, Eiji is alone, he's very hurt, and very upset. Go! You're probably the only one who knows where he is."
Fuji had still a bad feeling he couldn't shake. He saw now that Oishi had a purpose, he was beginning to move and think again, "Thank you Fuji-senpai."
"Mn. Do you need to use my bike?"
"No, I have mine."
"Good. Then call me when you find him, and let me know if you need any help. I'll wait here in case Eiji comes back and call you. Oishi, you need to find him fast!"
Oishi ran out the door. Fuji picked up the phone and first tried Eiji's cell phone. It went to his voicemail so either he was on the phone or it was off. Then Fuji tried his home, just in case. His Mom answered and said "Oh hi Fuji-kun, Eiji's over at Oishi's for the weekend. Okay?"
Fuji then called Tezuka. "Tezuka. Get over here now."
"Is something wrong, are you okay?
"Yes, something is wrong and no, I'm not okay." You bastard.
"I'm on my way..." Then he hung up.
Fuji then called his sister who said she was staying at her boyfriends again unless Fuji needed anything. "Thank you sis, I'll call you back if I do."
At least Fuji had access to a car if need be.
Fuji sat down and sipped Eiji's cold tea waiting, hoping, praying that Oishi would find him, that he would find him safe, and that for his friends at least, everything would be all right.
On to Chapter 38!!