Learning to Fall
Oishi took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and made a decision. "All right. But you really can't tell anyone, ever. I've never told this to anyone before. You have to promise me. Swear." Eiji nodded solemnly "There was a girl whose family lives or lived near where my grandparents do. I saw her when I visited them with my family. My sisters and I all knew and played with her, her sister, and her brothers from the time we were little whenever we were over there. She and I were the oldest but she was older than me by almost two years. Are you sure you want to hear this? Its not a good story."
"Hoi." Eiji was fixated. "What was her name?"
Oishi sighed and continued. He was looking away and not sure how to continue. "Keiko." Oishi licked his lips which suddenly felt very dry. "A few years ago we started kissing and fooling around. She started it actually. She said we were just kissing friends not boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. It happened a lot. It was fun but I told her we had to stop after a while. She said she loved me. Then said she wanted to have sex with me but I wasn't in love with her so I said no. She seemed fine with it but she kept trying to kiss me and fool around every time I was there. Sometimes I would, but then I would feel guilty so the next time I wouldn't. I was trying not to. I didn't want to. One weekend there was a big party for my grandfather's birthday there that my whole family went to. A lot of relatives from all over, friends, neighbors, that sort of thing. She went too. Everyone in the neighborhood did. I had some wine and some harder drinks at the party with some of my cousins. I saw her and later she wanted to fool around. I told her no, that it wasn't a good idea. I didn't want to, and that I liked someone else."
Oishi paused when he saw Eiji needed an explanation about that. "At the time I liked this girl I'd met who lived near here. Keiko was crying, telling me she loved me, and getting upset. I tried to calm her down. Stop her from crying. I was so stupid. I had too much to drink."
He paused again as if steeling himself. He saw Eiji was listening with no expression on his face. No judgement. Just wanting to know. Oishi looked away and paused for a while waiting to see if Eiji would interrupt or pressure him. He didn't. He just waited. Oishi swallowed and continued hearing how stressed his voice had gotten. "I don't remember exactly what happened but when I woke up she was on top of me having sex, with...me." Oishi paused taking a breath, "She....she told me she'd put a condom on me already, and to not worry....to just...enjoy it."
"Nya?"Eiji said it quietly asking as if in awe. Oishi nodded to confirm it. "Oishi when? When did this happen?"
"Freshman year. Right around when school started."
"Hoi. What did you do? After she said that? What did you do?"
Oishi hesitated remembering. He'd almost forgotten what he did afterwards. He found his voice sounded hollow. He was totally embarrassed. He should have never told Eiji. He should have never told anyone."I pushed her off me, pulled my pants up, and went back to my grandparents. I was upset and still very drunk. I washed up. I had a condom still half on me and threw it away burying it in the trash. Then I worried someone would find it so, I took it out and flushed it down the toilet. I showered and changed clothes. It was still night. Late. I went to bed. I didn't sleep. I was sick from drinking the whole next day. I never told anyone. The next day we came home, and I went back to school on Monday just like nothing had ever happened." He paused, "I was so stupid. I shouldn't have been that stupid."
"Nya." Eiji sounded amazed. "Did you ever see her again?"
"I've seen her once or twice, a while after, but I think she goes to school somewhere else or they moved. I never really talked to her again. I never told anyone. I...I don't go to my grandparents with my family anymore. School and tennis keeps me too busy."
"What happened to the girl here you liked?"
"Oh. I don't know. I think we only went out on one or two dates and then I decided I didn't really like her."
"Hoi? Did....did you ever have sex with anyone else?"
"No. Though I've been asked to have sex by girls that I've dated. I've done everything else but I've never had sex, again."
"Hoi? Everything else?"
Oishi again felt stupid and embarrassed. Like he had done something dirty or wrong. He was looking down. "Everything."
Eiji paused as if considering. "But not sex?"
"I don't want to have sex again unless I love them and they love me."
"Hoi." Eiji said as if he both agreed and understood.
Oishi struggled to find the words. "Eiji, could you just, forget, I told you this? I don't like to remember. I was really stupid and I don't like to even think about it."
"But what happened.....its not your fault, nya."
"No, it is my fault. I should have been more responsible. I shouldn't have been drinking. I should have left when she got upset instead of trying to calm her down. Then it would never have happened. I shouldn't have told her I liked someone else. I shouldn't have lead her on by kissing her and fooling around those other times. I was.....stupid. Very, very stupid."
"Nya. What she did was...wrong. You said no and she did it anyway while you were drunk."
"But maybe I kissed her back when I was drunk. I don't remember. And I must have been...turned on....hard...you know?"
"Nya. Oishi, when Fuji first kissed me I responded a little" Oishi turned to look shocked at Eiji. He felt both betrayed and burning jealousy. Eiji said he didn't kiss him back.
Eiji must have seen Oishi's reaction, "Nya not my mouth it was a reaction here," he pointed down, "to someone kissing me, like that, it didn't mean I wanted to have sex with Fuji or that I wanted to be with Fuji. Nya. When I didn't move Oishi, Fuji stopped. If I told Fuji who is my friend to stop, he would stop. If Fuji got me drunk and had sex with me what would you say he did knowing I didn't want to?"
Oishi didn't respond, he was in shock over Eiji saying that, and feeling jealous. Eiji continued "Oishi I had a very small response when Kiku kissed me and touched me there with her hand, but I didn't want her. Not at all. I was thinking about the night before and you. That was what I responded to. I wanted to get away from her and so I left. I went to the men's room. I had a reaction but I wanted her to stop."
Oishi tried to keep his breathing calm. Plus he was newly upset and now jealous on top of it all that Kiku must have touched Eiji like Kiko touched Oishi.
"But Oishi," Eiji touched his face with one hand, caressing his face softly, as if trying to get Oishi to keep eye contact with him to stay with him, "when you kiss me and I respond, when I react with you, its because I like how it feels and because its you. But if I said stop and you didn't, you would be forcing me. Hurting me. Nya. You would never do that. Even if I kissed you before and even if I had a reaction. What she did was wrong. Nya. She was wrong, not you. She shouldn't have hurt you. She was wrong."
Oishi just stared at Eiji, stunned. Then he shook his head and found his throat tight when he went to answer. "No, Eiji," he insisted, "I shouldn't have been drinking. I shouldn't have kissed her. I shouldn't have let her kiss me. I shouldn't have lead her on. I shouldn't have let her....."
"Nya, Oishi. Nya." Eiji kissed him softly melting himself into the kiss. "If I was drunk and said stop, you would stop. Even if I kissed you first and then said stop, you would stop. If you kissed me and I said stop, or no, you would stop. She was wrong. She didn't stop. She was wrong. Not you. Its not your fault."
Oishi felt a tear fall down his cheek onto the pillow. He had held in this for what felt like a very long time. "But, maybe she just misunderstood, and maybe she....."
"Nya Oishi. She was wrong. Not you." Eiji put his arms around Oishi and just held him close for a very long time.
"Eiji?" Oishi's voice sounded raw from holding back more tears. "Why didn't you tell Fuji no or to stop? Or Kiku?" Oishi pulled back to look at him.
Eiji thought. "Nya. I guess Fuji surprised me. I didn't know what to do. I was kind of surprised. No one had really kissed me like that before." Oishi burned with jealousy from that. "It felt weird. It was a weird night. And when I didn't respond with my mouth or move, he stopped. Then he was more like a friend again after that and ever since. He's my friend. He would never hurt me." Eiji shrugged. "Fuji needed someone to hug him Oishi, that's all. He needed a friend. I'm his friend."
Oishi thought about it and asked "And Kiku?"
"Nya. I told her no. I was nice but I still said no to stop and when she still would not stop trying to touch me there, I got up. I'd just met her. Nya. I didn't feel...right. I didn't want her to. When I went back to see the rest of the movie you weren't there. I just sat down next to her. I didn't kiss her again. I only hugged her goodbye because everyone else was and because she hugged me first. Nya. I just figured I would be nice and act like her friend only because, because I thought you liked Kiko." He shrugged.
"So Eiji, why hadn't you ever kissed a girl before?"
"I kissed them like this" Eiji kissed Oishi once on the mouth chastely, "And they've kissed me like that. Girls have kissed me kind of like Fuji before and I just say no and pull away. It never got as far as with Fuji because Fujiko surprised me. Nya! You know. They think I am the funny guy at school that makes them laugh who they are in love with but they don't even KNOW me. Or they call me and ask if I will be their boyfriend when I don't even know them."
"Or they sneak into your bedroom at night to kiss you when they are staying over your house with one of your sisters?"
"Nya! She is crazy!" Eiji made a face and Oishi laughed. Then Eiji paused and looked seriously at Oishi, "Hoi Oishi, thank you for telling me."
"Thank you for listening. It was nice to say it for once. It makes it seem like it was a long time ago now."
"It was." They lay still, each thinking their own thoughts for a bit and then Eiji asked, "Hoi Oishi can I ask you something else?"
"Sure, what?" Oishi expected another deep probing question.
Eiji must have seen Oishi bracing for another round of talk. "Nya." He grinned, "How do you do that thing with my ear that makes me shake?"
Oishi smiled and said, "Secret." He saw Eiji gearing up to demand that Oishi tell him and Oishi smiled a bit more. "Everyone has little spots Eiji, where they like to be touched, places where they're more sensitive, more responsive, where they react more. You just have to find them."
"Hoi? Everyone? Do you have a place on your ear that makes you shake? And make noise?" Eiji was smiling now too. He kissed Oishi, deeply, flicking his tongue in a teasing way. Oishi slid his arms around him relaxing into the kiss and enjoying it. Enjoying him.
Oishi pulled back a little. "Maybe." he said with a smile.
"Yah-hoi! Tell me where! Do you have other places too?" Eiji seemed like he wanted a road map of Oishi right then and there.
Oishi laughed. "Eiji its no good if I just tell you, you'll have to find them. Its more fun to find them for yourself."
"Nya! If I know all the places you already know about then I can find some that you don't know about yet."
"You'll have to find them....." Oishi teased.
"Nya! Give me a hint! Please?"
"Okay. You found one already."
"Hoi? Do you mean here?" Eiji put his hand on the bulge in Oishi's pants. Oishi was partially hard from the last kiss and the turn in the conversation. He gasped in shock. Eiji laughed wickedly.
"That....that isn't what I meant." Eiji started moving his hand softly tracing the contours and Oishi found his erection responding more.
"Nya? Well, its a place where you like to be touched. And it can make you shake. And make noise. I've never touched another guy's before, have you?"
Eiji kissed him and moved his hand lightly feeling Oishi swell under his touch. He smiled. "Have you ever kissed or been kissed by any other guy but me?" As Eiji asked he ran a finger harder than before from the base of Oishi's shaft all the way to the tip, rubbing the tip back and forth through Oishi's pants and feeling with his finger a spot of wetness that had leaked all the way through. Oishi watched Eiji's hand moving on him. "No. Just you."
"Hoi! Can I touch it?" Oishi paused and then nodded. He was curious. "Off?" Eiji was on the zipper of his pants already and Oishi nodded and sat up to help Eiji take them off him. Oishi threw off his shirt while he was sitting up.
Eiji went to pull down Oishi's underwear too but Oishi said shyly, "Eiji, the lights are on."
"Nya Oishi! I want to see. I want to watch. Hoi!" He pushed himself up with his arms and off the bed so fast Oishi was surprised. He landed almost silently on one bare foot on his unhurt leg and then took one hop to his desk. He got something and took one hop back to his bed and leapt onto it. He plugged in a night light and then turned out the light on the nightstand. The little night light gave off a soft glow, almost like a candle. They would be able to see but it was not the glaring bright light from before. "Hoi?"
"Better." Oishi agreed.
Oishi pulled down his underwear and on impulse asked Eiji if he wanted help with his. It was silly, he knew, especially after just seeing Eiji fly across his room to get a night light but Eiji said yes so he helped. The whole thing felt silly. They had showered next to each other aware and unaware of each other naked for months, years. But this was different. They settled back down on the bed not looking at each other. They were both feeling a bit shy Oishi figured.
They were quiet for a bit and then Oishi thought of something else he was curious about. "Eiji, remember when you kissed my neck and my ear at my house? My shoulder? My hand?"
"Hoi? You mean when I asked you to please...kiss...me?" He said the last three words slowly and met Oishi's eyes with that wicked smile. That started another little tingle in Oishi's stomach and between his legs. Just that little phrase from his friend. Their eyes locked and Oishi felt his breath catch a bit.
"Yes, then, how did you know to kiss me like that? And those places?"
"Hoi! Those are good places?"
"Well they are, around good places, yes. So how did you know?" Oishi thought to himself, If Fuji told you or showed you the tensai is dead.... and then wondered at how very jealous he felt.
"Nya! I don't know. Maybe I saw it in a movie....or maybe I just thought it would be good to kiss places on you where I thought it might feel good if you kissed on me. Hoi Oishi?"
"Kiss me. Please?" Oishi did, now very aware that they were both naked. As he did he ran his hand down Eiji's back and over his hip for the first time feeling his soft, naked skin. Eiji had really pale skin where the sun had not kissed it and Oishi could see dark tan lines from tennis. He deepened the kiss starting to tease Eiji once more. He started touching and playing with his nipple, rolling it lightly in his fingers. Eiji kissed Oishi's neck and by his ear looking for a spot that turned Oishi on. "Here?" Oishi shook his head gently no, smiling at Eiji's determination. "Here?"
"Not yet." Oishi said and heard his voice soft and husky as he said it.
"Nya! Show me on me one place on you and how you like it best."
"Okay, but then I am going to go to a place on you that you like, all right?" Eiji nodded, appeased with winning, somewhat.
Oishi kissed and licked Eiji's neck and showed on Eiji's earlobe how Oishi liked his to be licked and gently sucked then he slowly, gently, with Eiji anticipating, went around to the spot on Eiji's ear and licked. Eiji gave a little sigh and leaned into Oishi closer. At the sigh Oishi played more with Eiji's nipple and Eiji whimpered in pleasure when he gently pinched. Oishi went back to Eiji's mouth and drew him into a long kiss.
"Can I touch it?" Eiji said smiling when the kiss paused. Oishi knew what he meant. He nodded and started feeling Eiji's feel his way with his hand slowly down Oishi's body while they kissed. Eiji touched Oishi's soft dark hair and around, but did not touch his straining erection right away. When Eiji finally did, his touch was light and hesitant as if he was tracing him, exploring, rather than touching. He felt the soft sensitive skin, the veins, the ridge, and the wet tip before taking it almost hesitantly in his hand. Oishi gave a little whimper this time feeling himself grasped but so gently. Eiji gently, lightly, ran his hand up it and over the tip several times and Oishi went to put his hand around Eiji's to make it harder, faster, anything but this torturous feather touch. Eiji smiled, pushed his hand away, and said, "Not yet, okay?" Just like Oishi did a while ago.
It was torture but of the sweetest kind. Oishi laughed and told him so. Oishi then kissed him putting his hand on the inside of Eiji's unhurt thigh and slowly, very slowly, touched him feeling his way up. Then Eiji stopped him.
"Why?" Oishi asked worried that Eiji wanted him to stop or that he had hurt him somehow.
"Nya Oishi, I just wanted you to know I am still a little.....sore. From last time."
Eiji bit his bottom lip and nodded. Oishi gently continued his hand along its path. Eiji gave a little exhaled breath as Oishi's warm hand came into contact with his shaft. He could feel Eiji tensing up and he stopped his hand and kissed Eiji, stopping him from biting his own lip. When the kiss deepened and Eiji started to relax into it Oishi started moving slowly and gingerly again but Eiji tensed up again. "Eiji, take my hand and show me?" Oishi asked.
Eiji did. The tip especially must have been rubbed almost raw and now it had rough dry skin that had not yet sloughed off. Oishi had a little bit too, he noticed right after it happened, it was already healed now, but Eiji must have really taken the worst of it. "Oh Eiji I'm sorry. You should have told me then. Does it still hurt?"
"Nya, It felt good at the time and it really doesn't hurt now. It just feels....weird to touch. I didn't want you to think mine was weird." He smiled a bit shyly, "I don't want to be hurt there like that again. Every step I took hurt..." then in the middle of Oishi's latest guilt trip, Eiji smiled "....but it was kind of nice....."
"Hoi," Eiji smiled, "It was just really sensitive and made me think about it a lot. About you." He bit his lower lip.
Oishi still felt bad and yet at the same time he thought that was a little, well, sweet in a very bizarre way. He had to admit also it turned him on when he thought of Eiji thinking about it. About him. The same way Oishi had been thinking about it and Eiji. He said so and kissed him. During the kiss, Oishi realized his hand was still on Eiji's hard erection and not moving. And Eiji's was back on his not moving. He stopped kissing him and said, "Eiji, why don't you show me what you like. Move my hand how you like to touch yourself. Okay?"
"Nya! What about what you like?"
"I'll show you, but you show me first. Show me how you touch yourself. What feels best. What you do."
"Kiss me?" Eiji asked him and Oishi noticed Eiji still really felt a bit shy. Oishi couldn't blame him.
Oishi was happy to kiss him. Oishi focused on the kiss, drawing his friend into it deeper, so that Eiji felt more comfortable. He kissed him until Eiji forgot and relaxed, purring in pleasure. After a while, Oishi gently tightened his hand reminding Eiji to show him without ending the kiss. Eiji showed Oishi how he gripped himself by putting Oishi's hand how he wanted it, tightening it to where he liked it and then moving it how he liked it. It was so familiar but so strange at the same time. Eiji liked a harder grip than Oishi did and while they were around the same size, Oishi thought he might be a little longer but Eiji was a little bit wider. Eiji's breathing was coming faster. Oishi moved Eiji's hand back on to himself doing the same thing. Showing him. It felt really good. And kissing someone while doing this was amazing. Oishi had to stop or he would come. He had a feeling Eiji would want to try to both come at the same time again and an idea of how to, maybe, occurred to him.
"Eiji do you use lotion? Something that didn't hurt even though you were sore?"
"Hoi." He half turned, letting go, arching back into an odd backbend contortion, and reached into his nightstand drawer. He pulled out a little bottle of lubrication. Real lubrication. Like an adult would have.
"You...you use this?"
"Hoi. Nya, shouldn't I have? It never stings. I used to use lotion but this is better."
"How did you know?" If the tensai told him.......
"Oishi, I looked online. Why? What's wrong? Is it bad?" He looked worried.
Eiji never ceased to amaze him. Oishi smiled. "No its good, I just, I use lotion because I would never be brave enough to buy anything like this in a store."
Eiji laughed a little and said, "Hoi. I'll buy you some then....for your house." He had a wicked grin on his face and Oishi was glad they had a light on so he could see it.
Oishi heard the unsaid, for next time, and found instead of being shocked, or worrying, he wasn't either. In fact, he kind of liked it.
Eiji must have seen Oishi drifting again, "Hoi Oishi? How do we do this?"
Oishi gave a little laugh and said, "I'm not sure anymore."
"Good, then kiss me and we can figure it out." He moved closer to Oishi laying side by side, and Oishi let him lead the kiss. The kiss turned more intense, more serious, and Oishi let himself sink into it and into Eiji. He was comfortable and secure, knew that if he wanted to stop or to take control that Eiji would let him at any time without question. It was also comforting to know that if Oishi should happen to drift, or be out maneuvered by Eiji, Eiji was there and he would be there to pick up for a while until Oishi was back. It was nice, really nice.
Eiji must have caught him drifting away again, just then Oishi felt some cold lube being dripped onto his hard erection by Eiji. "Eiji its cold!" Oishi sucked in his breath. Eiji gave an evil little laugh, kissing him again. With his other hand Eiji put some lube into Oishi's palm for on himself.
Oishi moved them from on their sides to where he was still on his side but more on top. It felt better to him somehow and Eiji seemed fine with it also. He kept kissing Eiji this time leading their kiss as he stroked Eiji, as Eiji stroked him. Eiji matched him in pace. It felt so amazing. Even better than last time. Their testicles were touching, very sensitive warm skin touching, their erections were pressed up against each other sliding easily against each other, and now their hands too were helping them stroke. Oishi knew all the time spent talking and teasing meant neither of them would last long. Oishi changed his stroke remembering a girl who stroked him once ran her hand over his tip like this. He did it to Eiji. Eiji let out a surprised little whimpering moan. He whispered, "Eiji we have to keep it down so your parents don't know okay?"
Eiji nodded and whispered back, smiling wickedly,"You too." Then Eiji copied the tight stroke over Oishi's tip he did on him and Oishi almost moaned out loud. Eiji started to laugh but then Oishi did it back to him and then did it again.
Oishi saw the look on Eiji's face, like last time, and knew that his friend was going to come soon. Eiji was breathing hard, kissing him, and making those sweet little whimpering moans he made when he was just about to come.
Eiji tightly stroked Oishi's tip and Oishi knew he was going to come soon too, no, now.
He did the tight stroke on Eiji's tip as he said, "Eiji, I'm going to....."
Eiji moaned softly, "Oishi......" and kissed him.
They both came nearly silently after that, shuddering in each others arms.
On to Chapter 8!!