disclaimer:  i dream of them, but they are not mine.

summary:  Fuji responds to the rumors surrounding him.

notes:  for yoshikochan, because she wanted a Halloween thingie.  ^_~

warnings: goofiness, fanonishness, stupidity.  glossed over and made up historical facts.  Yumiko gratuitously sexed up.  general crappiness of fic.

~*~

He didn't remember when the rumors began, but by his third year, they were almost taken as a fact. For the average person watching him play, it was just so patently clear: there was something inhuman about the way Fuji Syuusuke played tennis.

At first, people just shook their heads and murmured about his genius. But the more they saw him - and his triple counters - the clearer it became. 

Fuji Syuusuke was a witch.

It wasn't clear who originated the rumor. Some say it came from St. Rudolph, some said it came from Yamabuki. It was, however, a nearly universally accepted fact, even at Rikkaidai, where genius was no guarantee of a spot on the regulars. He had to be a witch.

The proof came in three parts. First, there was his Hakugei, a move that clearly required a manipulation of the laws of physics. Second, there was the fact that he could get any girl to start giggling within 3.2 seconds (a measure that was verified by both Seigaku's Inui and Rikkaidai's Yanagi… St. Rudolph's Mizuki was never able to get accurate results for reasons he refused to elucidate), when even Rikkaidai's Yukimura needed at least 5 seconds to earn a giggle. Thirdly, it became known that the eldest Fuji, Yumiko, was a fortune teller who had written a book about the spirit world, proving that it was a family thing (it was universally assumed that Fuji Yuuta was adopted, thus explaining why his siblings were so much more attractive, as well. Yuuta was so upset by this aspect of the rumor that he spent a few nights in Mizuki's room. Mizuki was very comforting. He was so comforting, in fact, that Yuuta feigned unhappiness for a few more days to get more comfort.)

Of course, there was only one way for Fuji to respond to the rumor: he decided to throw a huge Halloween party.

Invitations were sent out to every regular in every tennis team of note, as well as the whole tennis team at Seigaku. Yumiko agreed to give out free fortunes at the party, and Fuji prepared by putting out tins of cat food, so that his yard was covered with cats for the party. He replaced the blinds covering their windows with long strips of black muslin, and he put up a sign over his door that read "Fuji's House of Horror." He made sure to put on the invitation that live rats and fresh blood from virgins would be served as refreshments, and that there would be free love spells available for anyone who wanted them.

Yukimura replied on behalf of his team that they had practice that night (whichever night it was), but thank you all the same. Atobe wanted to go, just to see if Fuji really knew any virgins, but Oshitari and Mukahi made plans to have a scary movie night, and as Hyotei gathers always had the potential for becoming an orgy excitement, he had to go with the will of his team.

Other teams responded the same, but Fuji continued with his plans all the same. Echizen pretended that he never got his invitation, but Momoshiro promised to drag him along. Eiji was super excited about, and spent most of the class time with Fuji making plans. Oishi got paler and paler as the day got closer, and kept asking Tezuka if he really intended to go. Taka was BURNING to go, so much so that he kept breaking his pencils in anticipation. Kaidou hissed a lot, and muttered some excuse for not being able to attend. Inui furiously did some calculations, and regretfully told Fuji he had business for that evening. 

By the time the party was drawing near, Fuji's parents had gotten so sick of all the cats, they had taken the weekend off to go to visit friends in Chiba. 

Yumiko was all set up in the living room. She had a table, a crystal ball, tarot cards, and she dressed for the occasion, in a sparkling (and rather revealing) two-piece sari. Fuji didn't exactly like the idea of all his friends coming in and seeing his sister like that, but as she was older, he knew she wouldn't listen to him anyway. He made an elaborate costume for himself as well. He had Yumiko use body paint to draw elaborate symbols all over his torso and arms, and he wore a sheer yukata with no tunic, and loose, red pants. Yumiko even put streaks of red and black in his hair, and decorated his cheeks with astral symbols. 

Everything was ready.

Eiji and Oishi arrived together, and Eiji immediately took Oishi on a tour of the house. They were not seen again, but there were spooky sounds coming from Yuuta's room, which Fuji chose to ignore. Taka came, but got so excited, he knocked over the punch bowl, and spent the next hour cleaning up, even though Fuji told him again and again that he didn't have to do that. Yuuta brought Mizuki, who promptly passed out from blood loss upon seeing the two elder Fuji's. 

It wasn't the most successful party, all in all, but it wasn't like Fuji was really trying to throw a successful party.

Saeki and Tezuka had arrived early, and helped set up, and Fuji found them in the kitchen during the fracas. Fuji smiled enigmatically at his friends, bringing an end to whatever they were discussing without him. 

Saeki winked at Tezuka, and looked Fuji up and down appreciatively. "Ne, Tezuka… would you like to know something interesting? Syuusuke never wears anything under his yukata."

Tezuka eyed Fuji seriously. "That is interesting, but actually, I already knew that. Did you know that the witch hunts in the United States and Western Europe were used to target and punish young women who were considered to be sexually deviant, and therefore a risk to the male-dominated hierarchy?"

"Damn the patriarchy!" Saeki exclaimed with mock indignation. Fuji grinned over his shoulder as he pretended to do the dishes.

"Mm," Tezuka continued, ignoring Saeki. "Lesbians, girls who had premarital sex, women who cheated on their husbands… In fact, there is a religion, Wicca, from which some of the mythology around witchcraft is derived, but Wicca is pre-Christian, and not associated with 'the devil' at all, therefore the western archetype of a 'witch' is really nothing more than a sexual deviant, in the eyes of society."

"Tezuka is always so knowledgeable," Fuji teased lightly.

"I see what you are saying here, Tezuka… This western holiday, then, really is a celebration of sexual deviancy. That's very interesting. I think…" Saeki stalked closer to Tezuka predatorily. "I think we should definitely celebrate this holiday in the style we were meant to, then."

Tezuka smirked, triumphant.

Fuji laughed, musically. "I have no objection."

Soon, very spooky sounds were coming from Fuji's room, for hours and hours.

The next day, Taka told a very subdued Kaidou and a very smug Inui all about Fuji's party, and how nice Fuji's sister was, even after everyone mysteriously disappeared. He neglected to tell them about the fortune she had read to him, but then, he would probably see Akutsu after school, and it really only applied to him anyway.

~*~

end

my friends in college were obsessed with the patriarchy. it was patriarchy, patriarchy, patriarchy, all the time. i love the word patriarchy. ^_^