****** Tenipuri Inbox Series ******
A/N: A look inside the tenipuri character’s inbox. Just what kinds of emails do they get? (Tezuka/Fuji, Atobe/Tezuk if you squint really hard)
~ chibiryu
*** Tezuka’s Inbox ***
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: smiling_tensai@your*my*captain.com
Subject: Don’t be naughty!
Hi, Mitsu!
How’s Germany? Is the weather nice over there? I hope your shoulder is healing well. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Atobe gets what he deserves…
BTW, practice has been boring without you. Oishi seemed more jumpy since you left. I wouldn’t be surprised if his hair started graying. He pulled me out of class to tell me he’s always willing to listen to my problems. Be happy that I didn’t say that I was missing my cute Mitsu-chan and the passionate nights we shared. Would’ve traumatized poor Oishi, you know.
The rest of the team is fine, but it’s just not the same without your silent glare or your ordering lap.
Anyway, heal faster, and don’t cheat on me while you’re in Germany.
Your darling wife,
Fuji
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: play_safe@tennisdoubles.com
Subject: Team Report
Tezuka,
I hope your stay in Germany is enjoyable, and that your shoulder is healing well. The team is doing fine, though I seem to lack the leadership skills necessary to encourage them to work as a team. How do you do it?
I tried meeting with each regular individually, with the idea that something must be troubling them to cause the sudden flippant attitude, especially during the Kantou Tournament. Unfortunately, I have made no progress.
Please help me, Tezuka. And I apologize sincerely for failing as a reliable vice-captain.
Take care,
Oishi.
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: smiling_tensai@your*my*captain.com
Subject: Re: Re: Don’t be naughty!
Geez, don’t worry. I’m not crass enough to poison Atobe. (No, that’s too good for him. I have something much more special planned for the egotistical rich boy.)
What do you mean that we never shared passionate nights? You disappoint me, Mitsu-chan. I, for one, consider eating ice cream to be a very passionate activity. Furthermore, if I’m not your wife, does that make you my wife? Aw, how sweet.
In response to your previous message, “I cannot cheat on you because we are not going out” – well, of course we’re not dating. We’re married. So don’t cheat on me.
Your loving husband,
Fuji
P.S. If I can’t call you “Mitsu-chan,” then how about just “Mitsu”? Or maybe Tezzie? Kuni-chan?
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: acrobatics_king@save_the_animals.com
Subject: Help! Please…
Tezuka-buchou,
Please tell Inui to stop making those freaky lethal horrible juices! Ever since you left, he’s been threatening us with them! The last one was purplish-orange and bubbled. Bubbled. Kaido and Momo have already been knocked out twice during practice. Threaten Inui with laps or something, please, or else we’ll all be dead by the time you come back from Germany.
BTW, can you talk to Oishi? I tried, but he seems to be…freaking out…yeah…
Kikumaru Eiji
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: girls_all_want_me@studs.com
Subject: The horror of Inui juices
Er, hi, buchou.
I’m writing (well, actually emailing, but that’s not the point) from the hospital. This is the third time it’s happened. I could’ve sworn I grabbed the right bottle during break…Inui-sempai must have switched it!
Not sure if anyone’s told you this, but the regulars are kinda…dying. Except for Fuji-sempai, but he has…unique…tastes. Anyway, please make Inui-sempai stop trying to kill us.
Thanks, and get well soon.
Momoshiro
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: play_safe@tennisdoubles.com
Subject: Re: Re: Team Report
Tezuka,
I don’t think threatening the team with a hundred laps would strength their teamwork or competency. But thank you for the advice.
And yes, Inui has been making his juices more than usual. I am very concerned for everyone. In the middle of practice today, we had to send Momo to the hospital for the third time this week. Could you possible give Inui a hint to take a break from his…experiments?
Also, Fuji is doing well and certainly not causing any trouble. Why do you ask?
Take care,
Oishi
***
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: gorgeous_and_rich@worshipme.com
Subject: Aftermath of the Kantou Tournament
Hello Tezuka,
I must say, your email address isn’t very original. You should really have some more creativity like ore-sama. Oh, and if you’re wondering how I got a hold of your email address, it is because nothing can stump ore-sama.
As your opponent, I have the duty of inquiring about your injury. No, I am not asking because I’m worried about you. How is your shoulder? Germany has the best rehabilitation centers, so don’t you dare say that it is untreatable. Return quickly so we can play another match.
Be honored that ore-sama took the time to email you.
Atobe
P.S. Your tensai came to Hyotei today. What business does he have with ore-sama or ore-sama’s esteemed tennis club? Shouldn’t he be at his own practice anyway?
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: play_safe@tennisdoubles.com
Subject: Re: Be Careful
Tezuka,
I doubt just because Fuji is being well-behaved means he planning something dangerous enough to blow up the world (he did miss practice yesterday, but claimed he had urgent business). However, if you say to be careful, then alright.
BTW, did you ever speak to Inui? The regulars, except for Fuji, seemed to be constantly disappearing during practice.
Take care,
Oishi
To: buchou@protennis.com
From: smiling_tensai@your*my*captain.com
Subject: Re: Don’t cause trouble!
Mitsu-chan! I missed you! And what makes you think that your innocent husband is up to something? Just because I visited Hyotei does not mean I’m plotting revenge against the narcissist captain of the school’s tennis club. Furthermore, I did not skip practice, which happened to be cancelled because all the regulars except for Inui and me were in the hospital.
Oh yes, how did Atobe get your email address? I suggest you change it. Now. (As much as I love you, Mitsu-chan, I will not hesitate to use blackmail material. I wonder how much a picture of Saigaku’s dignified tennis captain wearing makeup would sell.)
To help you choose a more creative email addresses, I have compiled a list of possibilities. See the attached file.
I have decided to call you Mitsu-chan because it’s cute, and Kunimitsu is too long. Also, I see that you’ve decided to switch spouse roles again. So I’m the wife now? Saaa…it’s fun being married to Mitsu-chan!
Your innocent wife,
Fuji
Attachment: Email_addresses.doc
To: fujis_boytoy@bishonen.com
From: sushi_chef@japanese_cuisines.com
Subject: Concern
Hello Tezuka-buchou,
Interesting change of email address…I think. Congratulations on your and Fujiko’s relationship?
Anyway, I hope I’m not pestering you, but could do you kindly inform Inui to stop making his drinks? I’m unable to play tennis or to help my father at our restaurant, and the rest of the team (excluding Fujiko) is suffering as well.
Thank you, and please come back soon,
Kawamura Takeshi
To: fujis_boytoy@bishonen.com
From: ssshhh@green.com
Subject: Sssh…Inui-sempai
Buchou,
Sorry for bothering you. Ssshhh…please do something about Inui-sempai. His juices are kind of lethal…
Thank you,
Kaidoh Kaoru
To: fujis_boytoy@bishonen.com
From: boywonder@catlovers.com
Subject: (none)
Buchou,
Tell Inui-sempai to stop sending everyone to the hospital. We’re wasting practice time.
Echizen
P.S. Did Fuji-sempai have anything to do with your new email address? Just wondering.
To: fujis_boytoy@bishonen.com
From: experimental_juice@math_genius.com
Subject: Re: Stop
Tezuka,
Isn’t it a bit harsh to force me to pay everyone’s hospital bills? I won’t be able to purchase the ingredients necessary for my drinks, but I suppose that was your plan, no?
I must remind you that my drinks are perfectly harmless. In fact, they are created to enhance the performance level of a player. The side effects are simply a tad serious, but a few days of rest are worth increased strength and stamina.
Well, I suppose I should start on those two hundred laps you assigned me. Ah, before I forget, your email address is very interesting. Is there something you and Fuji aren’t telling? Ii data…
Inui
To: fujis_boytoy@bishonen.com
From: acrobatics_king@save_the_animals.com
Subject: Thanks!!!
I love you, buchou!!!!!!! (Well, not that way, but you know what I mean) We won’t die!
BTW, what’s with the new email address? Are you and Fuji really doing it…er, not that I care, but, um, just…never mind.
Kikumaru Eiji
To: fujis_boytoy@bishonen.com
From: gorgeous_and_rich@worshipme.com
Subject: An apology is in order!
Tezuka,
How dare you ignore ore-sama? I demand an apology! Do not think you can avoid ore-sama by a mere change of email address. Also, did that tensai of yours influence your judgment, because ore-sama refuses to accept “fujis_boytoy@bishonen.com.”
Next time you change your email address, call ore-sama and I will consider gracing you with my unparalleled brilliance.
Now, onto the (worst) horror. Your irritating Fuji Syusuke switched ore-sama’s expensive French imported conditioner with permanent paint. Ore-sama does not appreciate having pink hair, despite the fact that ore-sama looks good in any color. Tell that Fuji to stay six miles away from Hyotei’s tennis club changing room. In fact, tell him to stay six miles away from Hyotei.
Be honored that ore-sama is kind enough not to sue your tensai.
Atobe
To: fujis_boytoy@bishonen.com
From: smiling_prodigy@your*my*captain.com
Subject: Re: 80 laps
Mitsu-chan! Oishi told me you’ll be coming back tomorrow! Does that mean we can finally go on our honeymoon?
Ah, yes, Atobe seems to be in the middle of a hair crisis. And don’t accuse me of being the culprit when you have no evidence. I was kind enough to send you a picture of him in pink.
I strongly suggest your keeping of your current email address. Are you that ashamed of our relationship? Saaa…I’m hurt, Mitsu-chan. But remember, I still have that photo. You should invite me to sleep over again the next time I accidentally forget my house keys at school and when no one is at home to pick me up. I’ve always wanted to try the new L’Oreal blusher on you.
Your darling wife,
Fuji
P.S. Should I sit in your lap eighty times? I didn’t know Mitsu-chan was into that kind of stuff…^_^
Attachment: Pink_hair.jpg