Ohtori Choutarou wanted to leave Hyoutei. He was not adjusting well. He did not expect to be happy ever again, but he thought that maybe if he just tried his hardest to adapt well then if nothing else, he would be able to just get through this. He tried to just get through all of this, the day, the week, the month, to just put one foot in front of the next and to just keep moving, but at Hyoutei it was nearly impossible to do.

Ohtori often thought that the students at Hyoutei were almost like sharks. They all were wealthy, successful, and had secure, certain futures. They were the top of the food chain as his lawyer father would often say, so Ohtori could not figure out why in the world they were constantly trying to attack each other. If they smelled weakness or vulnerability on another person, even one who was their friend, if they thought they could exploit that person for their own gain, they went after that person in a feeding frenzy as if they could smell blood. And the gains that seemed so important to everyone else at Hyoutei, gains that they would devastate a classmate and former friend over, they all seemed ridiculous to Ohtori.

A small increase in popularity was worth hurting someone. Getting a person you liked to notice you was worth destroying a friendship. Being recognized by a respected faculty member was worth devastating a classmate, even more so if your attacks caused the classmate to leave the school. Everyone talked and gossiped and was thrilled by the daily mini-dramas, the rivalries, the competitions, the silly wars, and the intrigues that to Ohtori simply did not matter. Things like that never had mattered to Ohtori and now they seemed even more ludicrous.

Still, he noticed it going on all around him. It was hard not to even though no one really talked to him or spoke to him day after day after day. He thought while he overheard two girls in one of his classes squealing over their own latest meaningless mini-drama that Takeo, his best friend, would have enjoyed this though. He would have made Ohtori laugh imitating the girls. Then he would have made him laugh harder by noticing just like Ohtori did that the guy the two girls were squealing over and hurting their former friend trying to win, he was obviously all into his roommate. His male roommate who played on the tennis team with him in part of a doubles pair.

The girls still went to their every practice to watch and coo and cheer over guys who by and large were simply not interested in anything from the girls other than their attention and adoration. It was tennis after all. Tennis, like ballet, tended to attract a lot of guys who weren't into girls. Or who were into girls AND guys too. Especially at a boarding school. Even if the school was co-ed, the dorms weren't. Takeo would love the irony of the fangirls having no clue.

Ohtori missed him. Takeo would enjoy Hyoutei. He would be telling Ohtori to stop feeling sorry for himself. He would force Ohtori to start playing the violin again even if Takeo was not there to play piano beside him and write music with him. He would play the Peanuts theme song over and over again until Ohtori laughed. Takeo would force Ohtori to play tennis for hours after practice ended instead of going to his room alone to do homework and try nightly to sleep without waking up crying and screaming from bad dreams. Takeo would make Ohtori talk to other people and try to make some new friends rather than be alone all the time. Takeo would make Ohtori stop taking the pills his parents and the counselor said Ohtori should take to help him, even though all the pills did was make Ohtori feel slow and make his thinking muddled. Takeo would make him have fun. Takeo would make him laugh. Let him cry. Talk to him. Listen.

Ohtori sometimes talked to him in his head and knew every reply Takeo would answer him with. He knew Takeo that well and Takeo knew and understood him like that too. They were best friends, closer than brothers as Takeo described them, since the age of two. Takeo's family moved in the house next door and there was almost not a single day in his life that Takeo had not been constantly with Ohtori. Takeo had always been the bold one of them. He loved to make Ohtori laugh until milk or anything else Ohtori had been drinking poured out his nose. He loved to make Ohtori blush crimson at his bawdy jokes and would laugh at the contrast of Ohtori's red face, red to his scalp, so easily seen under Ohtori's light blond hair. His hair then was curly, long, light blond and bleached from the sun over their hours and hours of playing tennis together until it turned a surprising shade of white. Takeo always called him "old man" and made everyone laugh when he did. No one but Takeo called him that though so it was all right. Let everyone laugh, Takeo was his best friend, closer than brothers.

They could tell each other everything. They knew everything about each other. Ohtori spent the night at Takeo's house all the time. It got to where they wouldn't even have to ask their parents. They were together and wherever they were when they got tired, they would sleep there. His parents expected to see both of them in the morning or knew Ohtori was over there and Takeo's mother was the same way.

Ohtori liked staying at Takeo's house a little better than his own. Ohtori's parents weren't strict, but they did watch the two of them closer than Takeo's mother who was a bit eccentric.Tak's parents never married because his father was a wealthy man who was already married to someone else and had a family with her. Takeo was their only child. His father visited, stayed over sometimes, and paid for everything but Takeo's mom would get a little lonely. She would take long trips away to a retreat or a spa in search of inner peace or enlightenment. She would get into following a guru or a spiritual leader around for a while and take off for America or Australia for weeks at a time. Ohtori's family would often watch over Takeo when she took off. His family and sister loved him like he was theirs too. Takeo was his best friend. They were closer than brothers.

Once in a while, Takeo's aunt and his cousin stayed with him over a weekend when his mom went off trying to "find" herself. His cousin Arata was cool and was older. The last time he saw them they were nine, Ohtori was one month older than Takeo, and Arata was twelve. Arata was already in Junior High. He was tall and strong. He had long blue-black hair like Takeo's but was built stronger and had wider shoulders. He played on his school's basketball team. Both Arata and Takeo asked Takeo's aunt to let Ohtori stay with them the first but she refused. Ohtori went home extremely jealous that he had to stay at home by himself when Takeo and Arata were together. He felt completely left out and could not sleep the first night thinking of all the fun the two of them must have been having without him.

The next day though, Takeo asked Ohtori to stay over the rest of the weekend with him. Ohtori wondered if something happened but Takeo told him they just hung out and played video games. Ohtori's parents of course agreed and Takeo's aunt seemed fine with it now. They had dinner and Arata and Takeo seemed really eager to finish and go hang out in his room. Ohtori ate fast to join them. When they got to his room, Takeo locked his door. "Old man!" He said thrilled to Ohtori, "Wait until you see what Arata has! I wanted to tell you all day. Arata show him!"

Arata did with a smirking grin at Takeo's enthusiasm. He had dirty magazines. Ohtori and Takeo had seen things like that before though so Ohtori wasn't sure what the big deal was. "No old man, look again!" Takeo insisted. Ohtori took a second look. These were not just girls topless, or even naked, or even sometimes bent over. These were pictures of people actually having sex with each other. Lots of sex. All kinds of sex. Girls kissing men and other girls too. Girls licking men and having them in their mouths. Even girls with other girls. In a big orgy way. Girls kissing other girls while men were behind them. Inside them.

Ohtori blushed to his scalp and Takeo laughed triumphantly at his response. Ohtori turned even more red but could not look away. The two of them took some of the magazines and Arata took the others. They went through them pointing things out to each other and Arata. They laughed sometimes at the looks on people's faces in the pictures. They showed each other the shock they felt as they turned every page. There were stories in the magazine too that they read out loud to each other. Explicit stories of people having sex. When they were confused by a term or something they didn't know, Arata would show them a picture of what it meant. It was fun, and Ohtori had to admit exciting. His heart was beating fast and he felt a little warm. He knew they probably should not be looking at all this but he didn't want to stop. He was curious and it was fun. Things with Takeo were always fun. Takeo made sure he wasn't left out.

He even saved the best part, "Old man, there's more, but I wanted to wait for you. Arata, show him. Let's watch it now!" Arata brought a porn movie. Scene after scene from several movies on a VHS tape. They watched it with the sound turned way down so Arata's mother didn't hear it. Ohtori thought he should look away. Of course he should, he thought and wondered why wasn't he looking away, but he couldn't. He stole a glance or five at Takeo and he looked just as surprised and excited as Ohtori felt seeing people really having sex with each other on the screen.

Arata had obviously seen this many times. "This next part is great." he would say or, "Watch him go at it with her!" Ohtori and his best friend stared and tried to take it all in while the people in each scene moaned and even screamed and came. Then Arata shocked them both by announcing, "Damn, I'm so hard." He unzipped his pants and took his erection out. He held it in his hand and touched himself with a sigh.

"A...Arata? What are you...?" Takeo said after looking at Ohtori for a moment. Ohtori's face was burning again. He knew what the guy was doing, he had seen guys like that at school gesture that way to each other, but he had never seen anyone actually do it. Ohtori glanced at him holding himself in his hand. He was older and much bigger than Ohtori was. His thing looked enormous. Ohtori's heart was pounding before but now he felt it racing even faster.

"Shh!" Arata hissed back at him. He paused the tape and then turned on his cousin, looking at him and Ohtori as if they were the crazy ones. "Don't tell me you guys are still babies who don't do it? All my friends and I do this all the time together. Its what you do when you read magazines and watch porn. You guys have really never done this?"

Ohtori tried to focus his burning faced gaze on Arata's face and nowhere else. He shook his head no in surprise as Takeo shrugged. Ohtori had a feeling that Takeo was going to lie and say they had done it. Ohtori hated when he lied. Takeo sometimes lied about stupid things because he wanted people to like him. Before he could lie Ohtori quietly spoke to Arata, "Y...you and your friends all do it? Together? Why?"

Arata blushed a little. "Of course. We're not gay or anything if that's what you're thinking." Ohtori shook his head no so Arata didn't hate him. Arata nodded, looked relieved, and continued, "We just watch these things, do this, and think of girls. It feels really good and its more fun when you do it with your friends. It feels great. You should try it." Ohtori was confused. He felt this was too much too fast. "Unless you guys are scared. Forget it. You're probably afraid. My friends and I did this before we were in junior high but maybe you guys are late bloomers. Its cool...."

Takeo as usual decided for them and interrupted his cousin, "No. We're not scared. Tell us how to do it." Ohtori cleared his throat. He wasn't so sure he wanted to do this. Takeo heard his little noise and whipped his head around to face him. Do this or else! he silently demanded. There was no arguing with him when he was like this. There was no way his cousin was going to get away with calling Takeo scared or a late bloomer. Ohtori also wondered about it. Maybe a lot of other guys did do this. Maybe just not them. It was possible. They really mostly only talked to each other. Takeo was his best friend. They were closer than brothers.

Ohtori wondered if Takeo knew what his cousin wanted to do and if this is why he waited for him and insisted he sleep over. He still hesitated. Arata said to him, "You too? You can't just watch us."

"Fine." Ohtori barely whispered. His mouth had suddenly gone dry. He nodded so they understood.

Arata told them to take their pants down. They both did. The three of them sat on the bed with their feet on the floor and Arata started the movie again. Now it was a girl licking a guy and taking him in her mouth. "You guys are hard, right? You're thinking of her mouth on you?" They both looked at each other and then back at Arata. They told him yes. "Well you rub yourself, not hard, like this...." Arata showed them on himself. "Feels good, right?"

Ohtori nodded. It did feel good. Takeo surprised him by saying, "Yes." It wasn't the word. It was how he said it that made Ohtori look at him.

"Good, keep going." Arata said. "Watch what she's doing to him. Think that she's doing that to you." Ohtori watched and rubbed. It did feel good. Very good. But it was also a little scary so Ohtori stopped. "No, don't stop, you have to keep going." Arata said.

"I...." Ohtori started.

Arata reached to touch him. There. Takeo was in the middle but Arata was bigger. "Here like this..." Ohtori went to pull away but Arata touched him there first, "Look, its not gay. My friends and I do this all the time. It feels good to be touched but you can't stop or it will hurt. Like this...." He touched Ohtori with his larger hand. Ohtori felt a shiver go through him. No one else had ever touched him there, not like....not like that. He felt scared. Intimidated. Uncomfortable. He wanted to go home and was just going to when Takeo came to his rescue and shocked him even more.

"Stop it!" He pushed Arata's hands away. "He's my best friend. You can't touch him!"

"Fine." Arata said with a shrug. "Then you touch him. If you don't, it will hurt."

"Fine. I will." Takeo reached for him and Ohtori shied away. He saw anger flash across Takeo's face. He said quietly, "Stop it old man. Its just me touching you. I'm not going to let it hurt you." He set his jaw and flipped his blue black hair over his shoulder with a swish. Ohtori realized in a little shock if Takeo was touching him so it wouldn't hurt him, then that meant that Ohtori had to touch his best friend so it wouldn't hurt him either. Ohtori wished they had never started all this. It wasn't fun anymore. It was a big mess.

But no matter what, he was not going to let his best friend be hurt because he went to help him. "All right." Ohtori agreed because he had no other choice. He put his hands on his friend and his friend put his hands on him. They glanced several times at the screen and then back at each other to see what they were doing. The scene now was the guy starting to have sex and put himself inside the girl on the screen. She moaned in pleasure. Ohtori heard his friend's breathing get faster like when they played tennis hard.

Ohtori couldn't see Arata over Takeo but guessed from his breathing he was touching himself. Arata said, "Now don't stop or it will hurt. Keep going."

Until when Ohtori wondered. He was worried they would have to do this all night and wondered exactly how much pain was involved. Takeo touching him felt good but if it wasn't so much pain maybe he could just keep touching Takeo and Takeo could stop touching him.

"Oh...this is the best part....watch!" Arata ordered. The scene changed so the guy took himself out of the girl and turned her over. Then the guy on the screen put a long pink plastic thing into her where he was before. Then he put himself back into her....into her butt! They could not believe it. They kept moving their hands on each other so they didn't get hurt but watched the screen. The woman moaned in pleasure and smiled. Takeo and Ohtori looked at each other in shock and Ohtori knew they would laugh about this later when Arata wasn't around. "Oh yeah...." Arata said, "isn't that the best?"

Takeo looked a little strange suddenly. "What?" Ohtori said softly so Arata wouldn't hear, "What's wrong? Does it hurt? Am I doing it wrong?"

His breath came faster and he half closed his eyes. Ohtori felt Takeo shaking a little, "Oh...." he said softly and sounded surprised. Takeo's mouth came open almost like the guy on the screen's was as he came on the girl's butt. He leaned into Ohtori and whispered, "Choutarou...." His head dropped to Ohtori's shoulder and he made little jerking motions with his body.

Ohtori was scared Takeo was hurt but something about seeing him like that made Ohtori suddenly feel very warm. And tingly. Inside. He felt for a moment like he might pee on his friend's moving hand and he tried to hold back so nothing came out of him. He didn't want to pee on him but at the same time he felt very good all over. Like when he and Takeo found and stole a few of the little bottles of liquor his mom had from her many trips and drank them one night, but this was even stronger. Even better. "Chou...?" Takeo said softly with a little smile. As if he knew something and Ohtori was about to find out. Ohtori didn't want him to stop moving on him but he was scared to pee on him. He tried to hold it in even more but he felt himself shaking. He made a little noise at the effort to hold it in and because it felt so good. Takeo smiled more at his noise. "Yeah...." he said giving Ohtori permission and encouragement.

Ohtori made another little moan and then bent down to his friend. It felt like he was going to explode and he made a little noise. He made similar little jerky movements and felt so, so good. He looked back at his grinning friend in shock. After a moment he smiled back. That felt pretty incredible and neither one of them was hurt.

Arata looked over at both of them. He was still rubbing himself and smiled. "You guys probably can't come yet. Soon, maybe next year you will." Arata turned back to the screen where more people were having sex. After a couple of minutes he said, "Want to see when someone comes? I'm gonna come...ah...." They watched in shock as Arata came like the people in the movie did on his own stomach. He turned to them with a grin. "It feels even better when you can come."

They later went to bed to go to sleep. Takeo and Ohtori in his bed as always and Arata on the futon his parents used for guests. They used to use it for Ohtori but it was a pain so they never did anymore. Arata soon enough was snoring and Takeo and Ohtori giggled for a long time over the video, the faces, and the sounds everyone made. They mimicked the sounds and faces laughing at everything. Falling against each other crying they were laughing so much.

Until Ohtori realized he was hard again. He went from laughing to surprised. Takeo must have been too because he stopped laughing and said, "Hey, old man, you want to do it again? Without Arata watching this time?"

At first Ohtori didn't want to because he was sore and felt a little afraid. But Arata told them if they used lotion the next time they wouldn't be sore from all the rubbing. Takeo said, "Come on old man, we already did it, its not a big deal. If you don't want to then I'll without you." Ohtori worried that Takeo was serious. He couldn't see him well enough to know if he was kidding.

Ohtori sighed, "Fine. I will." Ohtori hated to be left behind.

Takeo quietly got up to get some lotion from the washroom. He returned soon. "Forget it, I don't need you old man. I can do it myself."

"I told you all right." Ohtori insisted and pulled down his pajama bottoms. "I'm not going to let you get hurt."

"It doesn't sound like you want to." Takeo whispered back.

"I do, its fine....oh...." Takeo was naked next to him and rubbed lotion on him.

"Feels good?" Takeo said. Ohtori could just barely make out his grinning smile in the near dark room.

"Yeah." Ohtori said. Lotion on him with Takeo's hands felt even better.

"Then touch me too old man. Make me feel good too." Takeo insisted. "We're closer than brothers, but we're not gay so we don't kiss or anything."

That sounded fine to Ohtori and Takeo touching him felt pretty good so he shrugged and said, "Okay."

They stayed up late talking and laughing. They did it two more times that night and barely got up for tennis the next morning. Takeo blamed their being tired on Arata's snoring to their tennis coach the next day. They played terrible, even in a doubles match where they usually dominated until their tennis coach sent them home early insisting they get some rest. They thanked him and practically ran home.

Takeo wanted to go to Ohtori's even though Arata would want to hang out with them when he got home from his school. It was Arata's last night there. He and his aunt would be going home in the morning. Takeo pretty much insisted and Ohtori again asked him if anything had happened between them. Takeo seemed to want to avoid Arata or talking about him and Ohtori was not sure why. Takeo insisted nothing happened though and Ohtori let it drop. He was exhausted.

They said hello and they had to study to Ohtori's family and then threw themselves into Ohtori's bed half dressed. They didn't even shower or care after practice they were that tired. They slept for about two hours, got up, threw their clothes back on, and went back over to Takeo's house.

It was Arata's last night and he announced they were going to have a party. Takeo got out some of their stolen bottles of liquor and Arata was impressed. He had another VHS porn video for them to watch and they drank and laughed as they watched the movie and read the magazines to each other again. He said this time they had to all touch each other. Arata touched Takeo and wanted Takeo to touch Ohtori. Arata wanted Ohtori touching him. Arata was acting strange.

It wasn't that he was drunk Ohtori guessed, they didn't drink enough of anything except to feel warm and good. Arata was acting demanding and impatient. As if just watching was now not enough. He had something in mind and Ohtori instinctively wanted away from him.

Ohtori did not want to touch Arata. He looked over and watched his best friend's face closely. Takeo often had no expression until you watched him for a moment. His emotions flashed across his face like lightening. Look away and you would miss how he felt. Ohtori never missed how Takeo felt. He right then looked upset and defensive. Something was wrong. Ohtori said, "No. He's my best friend. Only I can touch him. Stop Arata." He pushed Arata's hands away.

Arata smiled and said, "All right. Fine. I won't touch either of you if the two of you just kiss. I dare you to. You're best friends. It should be no big deal." Ohtori considered it but knew Takeo's answer by his body posture. He didn't want to. Even if it meant Arata backed off. Ohtori shook his head no. "Then you have to kiss me." Arata told Ohtori.

Ohtori was quiet a moment. "Then you'll leave us alone? You swear?" Ohtori said. Takeo gasped. Ohtori looked at him. Takeo flashed that he did not want Ohtori to kiss Arata and that Arata was not to be trusted. Ohtori looked back at him to tell him without saying anything he understood. It was how they had always played doubles. They were closer than brothers. They needed no signals.

Arata smiled with one side of his mouth. He was bigger than them and right then looked dangerous. "Depends on how good you kiss me and where you kiss me, but sure, you do it right, and I swear." Arata gestured at his erection. Like they did in the movies.

"No." Ohtori said. "We won't do that."

Arata smiled more. "Not even to each other? Its just a kiss. You do that to each other and I swear." Ohtori looked at Takeo. Takeo flashed to him that Arata was not to be trusted. "I'll even show you how, Ohtori-kun."