Learning to Land.
Chapter Three ~Fuji~
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
Fuji kissed Tezuka hard and thrilled. The tensai could not believe that it was him all those years sending him presents. He kissed him and laughed until Tezuka was laughing also and held him back tightly.
"What was that for?" Tezuka asked him when Fuji finally let him up for air.
"Ne?" Fuji said in a tone of voice that suggested to Tezuka it should be obvious, "My presents." Tezuka gently lifted Fuji and himself to standing. He removed the rest of the ropes that wound around Fuji from where he was bound. Fuji again admired the ligature marks the ropes left on his skin. His entire being felt more alive and his skin more sensitive than normal.
"How do you feel?" Tezuka asked as he lead him over to the shower so they could wash themselves off.
Fuji thought for a moment of how to best answer the very open-ended question. He knew Tezuka was asking about his well being and not his heart however. After all, Fuji had just been in a raging panic in between times they made love. He had been recently demanding that Tezuka untie him or Fuji would harm himself in his fight or flight response to free himself. To save himself as he had learned in his very difficult childhood.
Fuji realized for the first time ever, he would have to unlearn many bad habits and learn new good ones. Tezuka, in his life, by his side, meant that for the first time he truly had hope of things most people took for granted.
Fuji could reasonably expect for the first time to be safe, cherished, and loved. This was all new and was very overwhelming, but at the same time, it felt so good, so right, that Fuji smiled back at him. Tezuka had started washing Fuji gently and lovingly. He was literally touching every inch of his so sensitive tingling skin while watching the tensai closely and waiting for the answer to his question. Fuji found himself speechless and not able to put into words how much he felt for him.
He did the next best thing, not caring for once how childish it was. Fuji swiftly hugged Tezuka hard. He held Tezuka close and whispered through tears while smiling, "I love you."
Old habits die hard though and when Tezuka froze in probably shock at Fuji suddenly being so affectionate and holding him so close, Fuji worried. Tezuka did not respond right away and Fuji worried that maybe he was going to give Fuji some bad news. It was what had always happened before to Fuji. Something terrible right after a moment of hope. Tezuka pulled back to look at a now confused and suddenly upset Fuji. Fuji closed his eyes and realized he was shaking slightly. The tears that were just a moment ago sweet suddenly felt bitter. He felt foolish.
Tezuka kissed Fuji's forehead, his eyelids, first one and then the other, and then he looked at Fuji for a long time. He pressed his lips to Fuji's in a slow kiss and almost hesitantly touched his tongue into Fuji's mouth. Fuji responded after hesitating a moment because he was still worried. When Tezuka broke the kiss after a moment he said softly looking at Fuji and holding him close, "Syusuke, I love you too. Everything's fine. You're safe. We're together. Everything's fine, all right?"
Fuji tried to smile and make a joke but the words came out instead sounding needy and horribly desperate, "Ne, you're not going far away on a long trip? Or changing schools? Or moving in with your uncle?" Fuji could have kicked himself right after the uncle thing popped out of his mouth. He knew he said it to test Tezuka. To see if it hurt him. To push him away because Fuji was very afraid.
Tezuka to Fuji's surprise seemed to already anticipate all of this. Fuji had no idea how but he didn't even flinch at Fuji's words. Not even the stupid comment about his uncle who had abused him. Instead he smiled slightly and looked gorgeous even naked with his half dry hair going every way at once. "I'm right here, with you, where I'm supposed to be. I'm not going away, I'm not leaving you, and I'm not having any second thoughts. I love you." Tezuka looked at Fuji until the tensai nodded. Then he kissed him again softly.
Fuji took a deep breath and felt more composed right now. That was what he wanted Tezuka to say to him, but what he really wanted were promises. Fuji needed Tezuka to promise things that no one ever could. That Tezuka would always be there. That he would never leave him. That he would always protect him. That he would never let anyone ever hurt Fuji again. That was what Fuji really wanted even though he knew Tezuka would never promise him those things because they were impossible.
Tezuka Kunimitsu would never make a promise he was not a thousand percent sure he could not keep. So even though the words were right, Fuji still felt little afraid because he had no guarantees. The tensai knew all this but still felt annoyed with himself for needing the promises and guarantees said aloud even if they weren't real.
Tezuka went back to washing him and asked, "Would you like to know where each present came from? Where I found each one I sent you?"
His questions started Fuji out of his dark thoughts. It was a simple and yet such an effective solution Fuji realized. Tezuka was reminding Fuji of their history together without falsely promising anything. Ne, Fuji realized, it was the truth. The truth was even better than empty though well-meaning promises. Fuji smiled agreeing, "Mn. I would like that."
As they finished their shower Tezuka slowly told Fuji where each one came from, the stories of each one. Even some good things that Fuji had not been given for others. Tezuka punctuated his stories as they dressed with kisses and gentle touches. He made Fuji laugh several times. He also promised to show Fuji any he did not send him. "Will you give them to me?" Fuji asked smiling more now. He felt very cheered as he listened to each fascinating tale. Tezuka's stories were only on the third year's presents too.
"Perhaps." Tezuka said non-committally but amused. Fuji suddenly understood that Tezuka would give Fuji all that and more just to keep him happy and smiling. Fuji loved him so much it hurt. In a good way.
They left the shower room after Tezuka carefully bundled the rope he had used and put it back in his bag. The early morning air had a chill and the sun had not risen high enough to chase it away yet. Tezuka seemed not even bothered by the cold but put his arm around Fuji to keep him warm after he locked the door to the tennis club room. They walked up to the gate and Tezuka stopped Fuji. He held the tensai to him and kissed him softly again. Tezuka looked shy a moment, "I thought you might like this, if you want it?"
Fuji was thrilled. "Mn. I would, thank you."
Tezuka held a piece of the rope he had used to bind the tensai. He had at some point while coiling the rope together, braided some of it together and cleverly tied it into a bracelet. It even expanded over the tensai's hand to fit Fuji's wrist perfectly. Tight but not cinching. Made just for Fuji. It was a nice reminder for Fuji who loved to collect odd souvenirs. Only Tezuka knew this about Fuji. "Then, I can give you this back." Fuji smiled and held out a small piece of the climbing rope he had taken when he was sure Tezuka did not notice.
Tezuka looked surprised, "You're very good. I never even saw you take it."
"Ah. But you knew I would want it." Fuji smiled and was very amused as Tezuka pocketed the small length of cord. Fuji brushed his hand across his pants feeling the other small length he had stolen when Tezuka was not looking. He wondered if Tezuka knew about that one too. The tensai felt his new bracelet. It was perfect. Like his other presents, something to thrill and delight him but now it was better. Now it would delight Tezuka to see Fuji wear it as well.
They kept walking together. Tezuka had again placed his warm hand on Fuji's lower back and Fuji wondered for an instant where Tezuka was leading them. It was quite possible that Tezuka was gallantly walking Fuji home. Fuji did not want to go home. He wanted to stay with Tezuka. The tensai realized he was both exhausted and starving. Somehow being with Tezuka made him not even notice it until now.
Tezuka must have been hungry also. He stopped in a little hovel of a shop and ordered food for both of them. There was no menu, the place was empty, and it smelled unusual. All Tezuka asked for was two specials one spicy, one mild. Even Fuji was a little wary of the disheveled appearance of the place.
Tezuka smiled seeing Fuji's hesitation as they sat on rickety mismatched chairs with the food Tezuka carried over to one of the three small old tables. "Close your eyes." He instructed Fuji and then put a little food into Fuji's mouth when the tensai followed his order. It was so surprisingly good Fuji made a little moan of pleasure and opened his eyes. Tezuka pointed to the plates they were sharing. "I ordered yours spicy, mine is mild, but you're welcome to try whatever you would like. I stop by here sometimes if I practice tennis late alone. Its one of my favorite places although its not very pretty to look at."
"Ne, its perfect." Fuji said as he scooped more from his spicy side into his mouth and closed his eyes again in pleasure. "What is this?" Fuji said confused. He could not figure out what it was. Some kind of meat or vegetable wrapped in an incredible pastry with spices.
Tezuka shrugged and said some words Fuji did not understand. "Their grandfather is from southern India and the family lived for a time in Tibet. Their food is sort of a combination of both. I think it's a variation of an Indian vegetable samosa and a Tibetan momo or filled dumpling with tsel or stew inside but they might have meat in this too. I'm not sure. It's always good here though." He smiled. "If you ever come back, you even might not want to order anything hot, only spicy. The curries here are killer."
Fuji was intrigued. "Mn. I would be interested in trying that." Then Fuji thought for a moment, "You ordered food hot?"
Tezuka smiled in that way that let Fuji know he caught him again. "I tried." He explained stoically. In two words he indicated he had tried to eat hot things like Fuji did for a time, but wasn't able to stomach it. Literally.
"Ah. When? After I came to Seigaku?" Fuji guessed, very pleased.
Tezuka nodded and made a face to let Fuji know how terrible it was. Fuji laughed. An old woman came out from the back then to see them. Tezuka greeted her fondly and spoke words in a language Fuji did not know. It sounded almost Indian but the tensai did not recognize a single word. Fuji was fascinated.
Tezuka introduced Fuji. He spoke to her for a moment and the woman made some comments to Tezuka who smiled. The woman shuffled away indicating with her hands that she would be right back. She returned with a plate of rice that had a yellow sauce poured over it on one side and a red sauce on the other. Things were buried under the sauces. She poured them each a cup of tea and then shuffled away again. "Butter tea." Tezuka explained, "And their curries for today. I told her you enjoy hot things."
Fuji laughed and went to try the curries. They were very hot but had a wonderful flavor to accompany the burn. One seemed to have meat, perhaps lamb and the other was just vegetables under the sauce. "Ah. This is excellent. I'm afraid I'm not as fond of the tea however."
"It would have cut the heat if the food was too hot." Tezuka smiled, "She doesn't know you. Its not real butter tea though, they use cow butter instead of yak. It changes the flavor completely."
"Mn. Would you like to try some? It really is wonderful." It was. Fuji had almost finished the plate along with all his other food.
"No thank you. As I said, I've tried it before. Twice was enough." Tezuka noticed how much Fuji had eaten. "Would you like some more?"
Fuji smiled and shook his head no, for a thin guy he could eat quite a bit he knew. "Ne, thank you. It was really good." The woman had crossed back to them and was taking away their plates. "Would you thank her for me, and tell her it was excellent, please?"
Tezuka did. The woman looked at the empty plate and then the tensai, as if making sure Fuji really did eat all of it, and then smiled and laughed. She said a little more to Tezuka and they left. Along the way he said, "She said you have hypnotic eyes and a strong stomach."
Fuji looked at Tezuka wondering what she meant by it, "She likes you, Syusuke and she really doesn't like many people." Tezuka smiled.
Fuji laughed, "Ah. And you?"
"I love you." Fuji smiled back at him. Tezuka took Fuji's hand as they walked, "And I like you too." He smiled and then seemed to hesitate, "You'll come sleep with me?"
"Mn. That would be nice," Fuji paused remembering, "and you're the one who said your bed should always smell like me."
"Now that would be nice." Tezuka smiled.
"You're not worried...at all?" Fuji wondered.
"About us?" Fuji nodded but would not meet his eyes. "No, I'm really not." Tezuka paused as if phrasing what he wanted to say. "We're both strong people. We've both been through a lot and yes, this changes some things, but if anyone can, we can. Some things will need to change but I knew that changes would have to happen if we were to ever work out. This is what I want. You are what I've always wanted." Tezuka shrugged, "I love you. I want to be with you."
Fuji was quiet for a while thinking about everything that he had said. Everything they had said to each other. Tezuka wanted to even keep Fuji safe. He really knew Fuji, even the secrets, and he loved him anyway. Fuji smiled. He knew Tezuka was hoping for some response but had developed a bad habit of waiting for Fuji and withdrawing so as not to force Fuji to panic when cornered. Fuji would have to show him that he was working on his bad habit of withdrawing when he was scared. They were at Tezuka's house by the time Fuji had sorted through everything.
He unlocked the door and let Fuji inside. Fuji swiftly turned as he shut the door and held him close. "Kunimitsu, I love you. I want to be with you too. I want this."
"Good." Tezuka said casually and smiled although he sounded a little relieved at the same time. He bent to kiss Fuji's mouth and seemed surprised when Fuji moved away.
"Ne, the food was very hot. My mouth is pleasantly for me on fire, but you'll get burned..." Tezuka kissed Fuji's protest away at least for a moment or two. Then he looked at Fuji surprised. Fuji laughed. "Told you so..."
Tezuka kissed Fuji again, sighing softly, "Too late. I'm already burned." When he let the tensai up for air he said, "I guess its something I'll have to get used to."
Fuji laughed, "Do you have any bread?"
"Are you hungry still?"
Fuji laughed more. "Ne, I'll show you a trick I learned." Fuji lead him into the kitchen. He had Tezuka pour a small glass of soy milk and get a slice of bread. Fuji dipped it into the soy milk and had him eat it. The tensai knew this cut the heat almost instantly from the lingering effects of the oils. He wasn't hungry but he had some too so that Tezuka could kiss him without getting burned again, and so that later, Fuji could perhaps kiss him in a few sensitive places without any worry. "Better? It must work like butter tea."
"No. Not yet." Tezuka said with a smile. He kissed Fuji hard and sweet at first making the tensai laugh and then Fuji lost himself in the kiss. Tezuka took the plate from Fuji's hand that the tensai had almost dropped. Fuji didn't even realize he had almost let it go. Tezuka smiled and then cleared the dishes. "We need to sleep." He stated simply.
Fuji enjoyed hearing him saying 'we' so much so that he let go his impulse to argue with Tezuka that Tezuka did not know for certain that Fuji was tired. Of course he was, but Tezuka was in actuality making an assumption about Fuji based on his own body's requirements. Fuji thought he hid his amusement at Tezuka saying this well but he surprised Fuji again. "Syusuke, you sleep more than I do and I'm exhausted. Aren't you tired?"
Ah. Actually, if Fuji was not able to hide little things like that he probably was. As it was all he felt was happy and high around Tezuka. And it was true that in general Fuji preferred to sleep in but he didn't always need to sleep more. Tezuka probably just was used to sleeping less. He probably needed a good reason to stay in bed longer. Fuji could help him with that. The tensai shrugged and smiled after he thought all this. Not committing either way.
"Then will you indulge me and stay with me while I sleep?" Tezuka tried again, now smiling.
"Mn. That would be nice." Fuji agreed. He let Tezuka lead him up into the bathroom where they both brushed their teeth. Fuji enjoyed using "his" brush Tezuka had given him and how Tezuka again set it next to his own after the tensai was finished. It was as if he was clearly emphasizing that Fuji was a permanent fixture rather than a guest.
Fuji talked and realized he probably was tired as he chattered away. He wondered aloud how their friends, Oishi and Eiji would handle things to come. A new relationship, between two guys having their first relationship with a guy, and with two such diverse and interesting people would be fascinating to watch. Fuji said he was worried if they would decide to be open in their new relationship or keep it hidden. He worried about how Oishi's strict father would react if he found out. Maybe Oishi would be sent away much further than Saint Rudolph's.
Tezuka calmly listened to all of Fuji's musings and ramblings. Fuji knew he was babbling and that part of his thinking of his friends was really him musing about him and Tezuka. Displacement at its finest but still he talked and he appreciated that Tezuka seemed to really listen while he gave Fuji new clothes to sleep in and turned down the bed.
As they settled down, Tezuka kissed Fuji and then said, "They'll be fine."
Fuji smiled and wondered which they he meant. He was about to ask when Tezuka said, "A while ago, when things were difficult for Oishi, I asked him if he wanted to live here. He still can. He's my friend and always welcome."
Fuji was surprised. "Ah. When?"
Tezuka brushed his lips across Fuji's forehead and smoothed the tensai's hair away from his eyes. He seemed to weigh his answer as if wondering how much Fuji already knew or would know. "When things were bad for him. It was a while ago, before this." He gestured to indicate them both, "If he needed to though, he still could. There is plenty of room and he is always welcome. My father and grandfather are frequently away traveling."
It was almost as if he was asking Fuji permission and to understand if things ever went that way. "Mn." Fuji agreed and smiled. The tensai settled his head down on Tezuka's chest and thought about things.
"Syusuke? I asked Oishi to be Vice Captain next year." Fuji looked at him surprised, "I realize its usually a Freshman chosen at the end of the year but I feel his strengths balance my own weaknesses. He is good with people, good with the team, and he really cares. When we were Freshmen, we made a promise to go to nationals together. That the team would go to nationals together. I think with Oishi leading that we stand an even stronger chance."
"Mn. What did Oishi say?" Fuji stifled a yawn.
"He was surprised and said he would have to ask his father. If his father agrees, then even if he loses his regulars spot once or twice before next year it should still secure him at Seigaku. Of course as long as his father does not find out about him and Kikumaru."
He looked at Fuji, "It isn't that I don't approve of him or them. Not at all. I just think Oishi should be smart right now and take things carefully. I asked Oishi to start functioning as Vice Captain and learning the duties involved immediately." Tezuka paused and then explained, "Three days a week, he's going to open and lock up the club room. I'm sorry. I just think he and Kikumaru need some extra time alone right now and it seemed like an ideal way for a lot of his and their time needs to be met."
"Ah." Fuji said trying not to laugh. Tezuka was so formal sometimes it was hard not to just laugh at him. It was very sweet of him to take care of his friend this way. Romantic even, in a sober, serious, Tezuka kind of way. Oishi had no idea that Tezuka was giving up their morning shower ritual. Or that now their showers could have been even better.
As if thinking the same thing, Tezuka said, "We'd still have the other three days, if you would like..."
Fuji smiled at his seriousness, "Mn. I would like." Fuji tried to match Tezuka in tone and gravity, "Perhaps the other three days, we could make arrangements as well. Perhaps I could stay here or you could stay with me." Fuji said them in the 'Tezuka tone' of making a question a statement.
Tezuka went to answer just as seriously and then must have picked up that Fuji was making fun of him. Fuji meant that if they could arrange to stay together more it would be nice.
"Perhaps...if you're very good..." Tezuka said it with that sexy turned on smile Fuji really adored. He slid his hand down the pajama bottoms he gave Fuji to wear and traced a light little circle again on the tensai's lower back with his fingertips. Reminding Fuji without saying a word of the control he was capable of and how much he had made Fuji completely his.
Fuji moved up to kiss him. Tezuka's lips parted a little and then he kissed Fuji back moving gently against the tensai's mouth. Then Tezuka kissed him a little more, warm and firm and commanding, taking Fuji's breath and senses away. Tezuka lightly and slowly moved a fingertip down over Fuji's entrance, where he just earlier was so deep inside him. Fuji moaned in his mouth remembering and wanting more as he kissed him back. Fuji smiled at the noise Tezuka was able to coax out of him. The tensai had always prided himself on being silent before and now just a kiss and a touch had him moaning.
Fuji decided it would be more fun if he wasn't quite so easy right now. For both of them. Fuji regretfully broke the kiss, looked wickedly at his, hell at his boyfriend, and said with a smile in his carefully crafted voice, "Ah. Kunimitsu, I'm always very good..." Fuji lay back down on his chest as if indicating that they should now just sleep.
Tezuka looked surprised and challenged. Very sexy. He cleared his throat.
"Ne, you're exhausted Kunimitsu, remember? And I need more sleep than you do." Fuji said as if bored. He basically dared him, even though he felt both of them were turned on and breathing a little heavy. Just from a kiss. Fuji enjoyed how fast Tezuka could make him crazed with lust. He loved how much he loved him. Fuji waited to see what he did next.
The tensai was very pleased when Tezuka accepted his challenge. He said as if he was not turned on in the least, as if his erection was not pressed right into Fuji, "Mn. Sleep well Syusuke." He kissed into Fuji's hair and sighed contentedly, though he kept his fingertips on Fuji's lower back tracing delicious, devious little circles in an increasingly slow pattern.
Fuji laughed low and quietly, completely delighted with him. He kissed his chest and saw Tezuka looking at him with one eye open. Fuji still smiling said, "I love you."
Tezuka smiled back, "I love you too."
His fingers still made circles. Fuji tried to stay awake to feel sleep take Tezuka and when exactly his fingers would stop moving. The tensai tried to distract himself by focusing on what he would do when they were both awake and if he should make love to Tezuka right then like he wanted or make him wait. He argued with himself that if he fell asleep before Tezuka, then Tezuka would win and Fuji would make him wait. But maybe Tezuka would expect that and to truly surprise him, Fuji should make love to him. Especially as Fuji had just found out he was in a way Tezuka's first, and his only chosen.
Fuji was very tired though, and even though he tried to fight it while he smiled and thought wicked thoughts, sleep seeped in and took the tensai before he could conclusively determine his next move.
Which in a way, was perfect also.
On to Chapter 4!!