Learning to Fall.
Chapter Thirty Five ~ Kikumaru
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
Oishi was making him really, really happy. He loved Oishi and Oishi loved him. They would be together tonight. For real. Forever. Eiji could not remember ever being this happy. Even if Fujiko did keep rolling his eyes at him.
But even Fujiko was happy for Eiji and was smiling at him. Sincerely smiling too.
Eiji had a lot of other things to be happy about besides how Oishi was making him happy. Most important Oishi was not leaving Seigaku. He had made regulars and Eiji knew it was to stay with him. Oishi did it for them. It was wonderful. Eiji was thrilled they would be staying.
Eiji was also happy that Fujiko was still a regular and he was going to be all right. Eiji had watched him closely today looking to see if Fuji was upset about yesterday. Fujiko seemed if anything happy. He was still a little sad somewhere inside, he always was, but he seemed to be happy today too. Sincerely happy all day, smiling for real, and he was acting strangely, but in a good way.
Eiji suspected that Fuji might be in love. Fujiko, Eiji realized, looked just like Eiji had the day after Oishi told him he had feelings for him too. Kind of dreamy and happy and yet a little worried. Love was scary while it was fun and exciting. All at the same time.
That is how Fuji looked all day.
And all day Fujiko also strangely had his hand in his pocket. Eiji even asked Fujiko what he was hiding there during lunch, sure it was something good. Fuji looked both surprised and guilty. He looked in a word, caught, and Eiji enjoyed throwing the always in control tensai off balance for a moment. Fujiko only answered, "Ne?"
Eiji had teasingly asked, "Hoi, in your pocket. What are you hiding there? Something good, nya?"
Fujiko had said, "N...ne...nothing..." Eiji kept pestering him until he finally showed Eiji a just handkerchief to Eiji's disappointment. Who cared about an old handkerchief? Fuji smiled shyly as he showed it to Eiji. Then after he smiled a lot more at how disappointed Eiji seemed that it wasn't anything more fun or interesting. Like he had a secret.
Eiji was able to smile back only because he heard Tezuka leaving Fuji's early in the morning. He had spent the night.
Eiji did notice that after that, Fuji did not put his hand in his pocket as often. Only when he was spacing out in class, staring out the window and looking like he was daydreaming. Eiji was watching Fujiko so closely all day that he lost his place when the teacher asked him to read. Fujiko somehow saved Eiji mentioning the page they were on and smiling more.
It was also great that Kawamura made regulars. Eiji thought he was a good guy. Dinner at Kawamura's sushi place had been fun and Eiji was glad they all went even if Oishi wasn't there.
Oishi's blank note to Eiji was so sweet. It was perfect. In a way, it felt like Oishi was there, especially after Eiji texted him.
And Oishi had bought him a present.
That was very exciting...
Eiji knew from when he was hurt that Oishi gave very good presents. He wondered what it could possibly be.
Eiji tried to think a little more what his present would be. It was easier than thinking and worrying what tonight would bring, although he couldn't wait to see Oishi again. To be with him.
Eiji realized he was thinking about Oishi again and smiled. He had to stop thinking about him for a little while though. He had something he needed to do first and he couldn't do it while smiling and looking all in love and happy.
Because as happy as Eiji was, he knew needed a friend to talk to right now. Eiji wasn't the kind of guy to let problems or worries pile up on him like Oishi did sometimes. Oishi would try to figure out the best solution for a problem taking his time while Eiji would rather face a problem or an issue and deal with it immediately. He lacked patience sometimes, he knew. Everyone always told him this from his Mom to his teachers.
Oishi never minded though that Eiji lacked patience. He was really sweet that way. He had also shown Eiji that waiting, sometimes, was a very good thing. There was always a nice reward every time Oishi said not yet, love.
Eiji smiled thinking about the times Oishi said that to him. He felt a little thrill in his stomach thinking about what they had been doing when Oishi said it, and then thought about what they were going to do. Eiji found he was smiling and thinking about Oishi, again.
Again, he reminded himself to stop thinking about him for just a little while, about them. Nya yet, love.
Oh, Eiji really had to stop smiling.
Because while Eiji was happy and thrilled, at the same time he was worried. He was very worried and just didn't know what to do about it. Eiji had done some research online but it hadn't helped him. The general information out there did not answer his very specific questions. Eiji needed answers, fast, and what he really needed was to talk to a friend.
Eiji had already decided that what he needed specifically was to talk to his very good friend Fuji who was sitting on the bus next to him. They were headed back towards Fujiko's with Oishi soon to be on his way.
Eiji knew Fuji would know. Fuji would have answers for him. Fujiko would not laugh at him or think he was stupid for asking and would help him. Eiji knew this for certain but still was afraid to ask. There were several problems before he even began to ask.
First, Oishi made him promise not to tell anyone and Eiji would try his hardest never, ever to break a promise. He would never tell Oishi's secret. But there was a little catch now, if he didn't find a way to ask without breaking his promise, he was worried that Oishi would be hurt or upset. Eiji did not want that, ever. He wanted to make Oishi as happy as Oishi made him. He wanted Oishi, he wanted Oishi to be happy, it was just he needed to be sure of a few things before proceeding any further.
Eiji knew he was ready to be with him. To make love. Completely certain of it and of them. Eiji was more sure of them than anything he had ever been sure of in his life. Things with them were good, bordering on perfect. But Eiji was worried that his lack of any experience could possibly hurt his...boyfriend. Eiji almost laughed out loud at the word, delighted.
Both he and Oishi had been avoiding that word. Well, probably more Oishi, but it still felt like a really huge word. A huge step to use the term even if it did fit them, him, Oishi. Even if Oishi was all Eiji wanted and could think of. Even if that was the reason for Eiji being so happy, that word had such a ring of permanence to it. It was a huge word.
Eiji was trying to think of a way to ask Fuji but could find no way to begin. This was the second problem. Sometimes it was hard to talk to Fuji. Often it was very hard to talk to him and ask him questions.
Fuji had secrets.
Big ones. Ones he had never specifically told Eiji, but Eiji always has known, suspected, something big was there. Even before he slept over Fujiko's house.
Because Fuji had secrets, he was very, very difficult to get to know. Fuji was like a gobstopper candy with sweet layer and layer of flavor to melt away in your mouth before you even knew what flavor was in the center. If you bit down too soon you would break the candy, would probably break a tooth, and might even hurt Fuji. Eiji did not want that ever. But Eiji, like Fuji loved to unwrap and unravel people just to see what was at their center.
Eiji had known from the time he met him, sensed Fuji had secrets and Eiji wanted to slowly unwrap them. Fuji liked to unwrap people because he enjoyed roaming around their minds. Eiji liked to unwrap people because he liked roaming around their hearts.
Eiji only wanted to know Fuji's secrets if only to love his friend Fuji even better. Eiji was not sure what his friend Fuji's secrets were, but he knew, positively knew that he would eventually get to them. Just like he had with Oishi's.
It was a gift Eiji had.
Eiji knew how to work a crowd. He could pick it apart to put it back together again. The crowd could be as big as a stadium or as small as one person. He just knew how to do this just like he knew how to smell colors.
On top of his gift, people told him things. All the time. People would spill their heart to him. A big reason of this he knew to his dismay was because people thought he was stupid or silly or adorable, and they told him things. Things they told no one else. Eiji was a good listener though. He had also learned to ask questions of people. He would ask them about themselves and their life and they would tell him things. Eiji understood a big part of this was because the people he asked questions to were his friends. He cared about them, he wanted to understand them better, and they cared about him. So they told him things and secrets because they wanted to help Eiji understand.
People who did this never really understood that what Eiji really wanted to understand was always mostly more about his friends and people he loved. He liked to be very close to his friends and it was important to him that he be a good friend. To be the best friend you can to someone, you had to know them. The good and the bad. You had to trust them and they had to trust you. And then you had to go through some stuff together. Stuff cemented a friendship.
With some friends it was very easy and took a short amount of time to become close to them. Oishi had taken longer to be his friend. Oishi was very reserved and Eiji really had to work to become his friend when he decided to be his friend. Eiji had to keep asking Oishi to practice and do things after practice to draw Oishi out of himself. Eiji had never minded, Oishi was a lot of fun and was a good friend, but he was the second hardest person Eiji had ever gotten to know. And that was just as a friend, that does not even include as a boyfriend.
Fujiko, Eiji knew, would take longer still. As big as Oishi's secrets were, Eiji instinctively knew that Fuji's loomed even larger.
Eiji also instinctively knew that eventually, Fuji would tell Eiji all his secrets. They were already good friends. Fuji was his second best friend in the world. They had gone through stuff together. Hoi, Fujiko was such a good friend he helped bring Oishi and Eiji together. On top of that he was so sweet letting Eiji cry and talk to him that week he wasn't talking to Oishi. On top of that he went to protect Eiji and challenged Oishi. He then helped Oishi to win so he could stay at Seigaku.
Fuji really was his very good friend. Fuji made much of him and Oishi and how happy Eiji was now possible. Eiji would forever be grateful to the tensai.
When Eiji told Oishi that they should find out why Fujiko was so sad, to help him, Eiji was completely serious. Eiji would get closer to his friend Fuji and help him in anyway. He had already vowed to do this and was thrilled that Oishi agreed even in part to help him. They would find a way together.
That made Eiji even more happy.
But for the moment, Eiji was worried too. Worried about Oishi. He wanted things to be perfect for Oishi's, their, and his first time. Much more for Oishi than for himself but he would do the best he could for both of them. Every time he was with Oishi it went better than Eiji ever dreamed or imagined anyway so this should be just like that.
But Eiji still worried.
And now he needed their friend, Fujiko to help him.
Eiji was not sure how to go about asking the tensai the questions he needed answered. He ran through some hypotheticals in his head and nothing seemed to be working. He even considered saying to Fuji that he had more questions about sex but that made him feel and sound stupid.
Even more importantly, Fuji might feel tricked or lied to by Eiji if he brought up one thing to really ask another, so that was out of the question too.
They were getting closer to Fuji's house and it was getting later and later. Eiji tried to come up with a plan, fast. He could think of nothing so he tried to think of several hypotheticals. There was, he reasoned, only one way.
He set about making his new plan work. He looked at Fuji, looked away, and did this several times. He sighed. Then he moved his body language away as if upset. He was working his way up to it. The drastic change from elated to sad was bound to get the tensai's attention.
He looked slyly over and saw that it already was.
He also noticed Fuji was resisting because he knew Eiji was up to something.
Eiji looked at Fuji again and sighed. He knew that if his friend only knew what it was he needed to know, he would answer his questions, but a direct question to Fujiko tended to sometimes shut him off completely. Especially sometimes about things like emotions and sex. Eiji could not afford that right now.
He had intended to speak to Fuji earlier, all day in fact, but he never had a chance. They weren't ever alone all day or at dinner where they could talk. Eiji even had tried to be sly and he showed Fuji the text messages Oishi had sent him. Eiji just let Fuji read a little over his shoulder while he read them, smiling and happy. Eiji was thrilled at the prospect of a present and thought it was the perfect opportunity to start talking seriously to Fujiko. Plus there was the added advantage that Fujiko might have an inkling of what Eiji's present might be.
Maybe Oishi had told Fuji something he hadn't told Eiji yet. But he hadn't or at least the tensai implied he hadn't.
Eiji not knowing what his present was, sighed yet again. The thought of an unknown present made him pout a bit more. With Oishi, Eiji had learned, it could be anything. He sighed again and started absently tapping his foot a little as if annoyed.
"Ne, Eiji, what is it?" Fuji finally asked him. Eiji was secretly relieved and elated that Fujiko finally took his series of hints and asked. So far, so good.
He took a big dramatic sigh. "Hoi. Fujiko you're my very good friend, right?"
"Yes..." Fuji, Eiji knew, wanted more before he committed, but Eiji had this part planned out already knowing the tensai would have reservations.
"Hoi, Fujiko." Eiji paused as if thinking as he spoke. "And I can ask you anything in the world and you won't get mad at me or upset, because you're my second best friend in the world other than Oishi?"
Eiji had to keep from smiling. His sweet friend Fujiko thought he was so smart, even if he was a genius. Eiji almost laughed as the tensai walked right into it. "What do you want to ask me Eiji?" Fuji asked with a sigh, but Eiji wasn't done yet. Not nearly done yet.
Eiji knew he HAD to do this. He needed to his questions answered and Fujiko, his very good friend, must tell him. He was the only one who could. Everything depended on this. Everything, Oishi's happiness and Eiji's too completely depended on this.
It was that important.
Eiji put his head down and bit his lower lip. "Nya. Just, forget it Fujiko. I'm sorry to bother you. Never mind, nya." He pouted, just a little bit, and started to get himself a little worked up. It wasn't as hard to do as Eiji had thought it might be. He thought it might have been harder because he was so happy, but, the last few days really had been really stressful. Eiji brought up a bad memory and felt tears stinging his eyes.
Fujiko saw his show and really wasn't buying it. But Eiji had already factored that in too. This was going well. When you grow up as adorable as Eiji, you learn these things fast and well. "Ne, Eiji whatever it is, just ask me." Fuji said with a his smile already in place, but Eiji notice that Fujiko was now carefully watching Eiji. He was monitoring his body language, noticing how stressed Eiji was from his breathing, and, waiting to see what Eiji did next.
But the facts were, Fuji was insatiably curious, and Eiji tended to fascinate him.
Eiji sat quiet and still, like how he did with Oishi sometimes when he was really happy or watching him sleep. But this time he tried to do it staying upset, not happy. Eiji really was worried and so he tried to project that into it as well. Eiji did not move except to shake his head, no. He would not just ask Fuji without it being right. Without Fuji taking him seriously. This was too important for Fujiko to casually dismiss. In Fuji's current mood, he might even laugh at Eiji. Eiji hated being laughed at.
Oishi never laughed at him.
That helped with Eiji pouting. He missed Oishi even though he would see him in just a little while. If it was Oishi, and not Fuji here, Oishi would already lovingly had noticed something was wrong with Eiji and asked him, and would have insisted that Eiji talk to him. Oishi loved him. Eiji missed his boyfriend and put that into his body language also.
That did it, Fuji was starting, just starting to take him seriously now.
"Ne, Eiji this is the stop for my house, come on, lets go, and we can talk inside, okay?" Fuji rang the bell for the stop, looking concerned. Eiji knew he needed a little bit more and then he would have the tensai wrapped around his finger.
Eiji shrugged and stood up, knowing Fujiko was not up to dragging him though it might have been fun, which actually made Eiji pout a little more. Eiji walked like his feet were made of lead. His Mom always called this his wicked mode, when he was up to something. Eiji needed to know though. And Fujiko was the only one who could tell him. Maybe talking with Fujiko would be a good thing too. It might bring them even closer. Eiji was enthralled with Fuji.
Not like he was with Oishi, who he adored and loved with all his heart, but his friend Fujiko was still far too much of a mystery for Eiji not to unwrap as much as possible. Fujiko had done lots of things and experienced lots of things.
Eiji knew he was dangerous when he was determined. He was very, very determined right now. Not for himself, not really, but for Oishi, or for Oishi and him, however you wanted to look at it. Eiji knew this was the right thing to do and hoped that Fujiko really would help.
Fuji let them in, the house was empty, and lead him into the kitchen where Fuji put up the kettle for tea. Fujiko held out a chair for Eiji to sit in. Then Fuji sat down on another chair and folded his legs into a complex, advanced, yoga pose saying, "All right Eiji what do you want to ask me?"
"I don't think I can ask anyone. I don't think I should Fujiko, not even you. Its, its personal." Eiji said it in a small voice and stood up. He turned away, and had this not been so serious he would have smiled, knowing that this would intensely intrigue the tensai. He was almost Eiji's.
The tensai was still for a long time. The only sound in the house was the tea water warming up and Fuji's sigh as he surrendered. "Ne, Eiji, how...personal, do you mean?"
On to Chapter 36!!